Thursday evening, a very challenging day for Nan

Dear Friends and Family,

Today has been a continuation of the nightmare that grips us. Yet there have been bright spots midst the gloom. Joyce Western, a long time friend from the Tracy SDA Church and a neighbor for years when we lived in Tracy, came to be with nan today. She arrived at 10:30 and gave Nan someone to talk to for awhile, someone to be here just in case nausea hit or bags needed to be emptied. Joyce brought her mail to sort since she has been away for a bit. nan and I thank you Joyce for coming and helping today. When Joyce had to leave Loree was the cover person, dropped by, called to make sure things were good and then around 4 I got home from working. nan had a terrible episode of vomiting this morning, high volume and violent, then it did not strike again until late this evening. When I got home she was ready for the remaining Adavan the little vial held. Then the delivery from home health arrived with TPN for tonight, more Adavan, needles, batteries, etc. So later in the evening I gave her a full dose of Adavan and she fell asleep. When I first arrived home her leg and thigh hurt so much she could hardly stand it so I rubbed it for awhile. Afraid I'm not as good as Jan or Pam or Sylvia at rubbing but she fell asleep for awhile afterwards.

As I drove out this morning at 10 I was upset that the doctor's office never called yesterday afternoon to tell us the results of the X-ray. When I called the office this morning the doctor that ordered it was not there and they could not find results in the office. Later they called back to tell me that the doctor that was on duty today wanted Nan to sip small amounts of water today and at the appointment in the morning with Dr. Melynk at 8:30 we would be told whether nan should go to the hospital or not. So that cryptic message is all we got. So we really don't know where we stand. Facts are: Nan has intense pain in her left leg, thigh and even foot at times, nan continues to have nausea most of the time when awake, Adavan helps her sleep and as she sleeps she has no nausea. She continues to run a low grade fever continuously. Nan feels lousy but can walk when she needs to, can talk intelligently, just would rather not since it takes so much effort not to throw up when she does anything at all.

I drove to Fairfield to see a house with rather poor housekeeping but good design and nice neighborhood, then on to review an other's appraisal of a house in Vallejo built up on a hill in a private gated community, little lots, lots of living area, high values of about a million. Hard to see how how it is worth it but there is that security gate out front of course.

Then onto Martinez to see a home where the owners have been moved by AT&T to the Midwest and are willing to purchase the home if it does not sell on its own. It is priced reasonably and is perfect property on a quiet court BUT nothing is selling, no matter what the price. I am required to find a list price that will make the house sell in 120 days. That is a relocation appraisal, pays $500 but is worth every penny of it by the time you are through.

Because Joyce was kind enough to come help today I was able to keep up with needed appointments. I was going to take nan's odyssey but I have a hard time driving her car, somehow it does not seem right, so I took mine hoping for cool weather, wrong. My little exterior device said between 95 and 100 all day, so I lived like most people in the world, that is without a/c. Windows open, can't hear the radio or the phone, shirt was wet a lot and I stopped and purchased water and drinks a couple times. Day was tight on time because I had to get there, get the jobs done and back home so Nan would not be alone very long. It all worked out. I've spent the evening with Nan while she was awake, made myself a Bagel and then Nikki asked if I wanted pasta from a new place she has located. It was great, she and Keanna came to call about 7:30 and mom got her Keanna medicine. She also got her special umbrella Pam had brought her from Yosemite Park, she played with that and discovered that she is now strong enough to open and close it by herself, thanks Pam for making her day. Nan and Nikki got there heads together over things and then they had to go home so Keanna can get her rest, Nikki too actually. We fired up the central AC to cool the room where Nan's bed is since it was up to 83, too much to be comfortable in a hospital bed with a jell mattress.

Now its time to go to sleep since we have to get up early tomorrow morning and get to the doctor on time. Need to leave house at 7:30 to there on time.

I have enjoyed talking to Art several times today as he and Connie traveled to their home in Indio. He is such a good sounding board and loves Nan so much. I also got to talk to my brother who is 10 years older than I am. He is still working as an engineer for Union Pacific. He has had to run a train the last two nights, all night, don't know how it does it. Many of his wife's grown children have migrated home for a bit so he says they have a full house right now. I think they are enjoying having family around.

I've talked to Pam several times, if the public only knew how many hours these public school teachers and administrators actually worked perhaps we would appreciate them more. She left here last night after 11 and was back at meetings this morning in Stockton at 8 am. How we appreciate and love her.

So tomorrow morning is important in that Dr. may have a better idea of what we are facing, what could be causing the constant nausea. I am in hopes that he has already started the process of trying for AMN107, I want him to know I'll do all the legwork I can to assist with getting the drug on compassionate use. We need something to help the tumors and we need it soon, that is just my opinion based on 10 years of observing Nan and tumors. How many times we have sat in Dr. offices and been told about new tumor growth, every time shocking, every time terrifying and every time so far something has been able to be done to deal with them. Over 10 years we have fought. God willing we will keep fighting for quality of life and recovery.

So please pray that God will lead, heal, comfort, instruct, open doors. I think it is highly likely that nan will be admitted to the hospital sometime tomorrow and of course I will blog and let you know what is happening. We so appreciate you keeping Nan in your prayers. She is a precious, brave, delicate, stubborn, lovely lady, worth our prayers and our love.

with love

tim and nan