The Circle of Life

Dear Family and Friends,

This has been an incredible day. At around 5 this morning Nan was awake and decided to open her heart. We discussed her understanding of what was taking place in her body, her awareness that something was different in her belly, her willingness to keep up the good fight but also realize that the fight might end soon. She was the picture of grace and class as she talked about her love of life, the powerful bond she feels with the children and grandchildren and her deep love for me. It was a moving and powerful time and another example of why she is such a special and unique person. I will treasure our sharing hearts forever.

At 8:30 Dr. Ganey was in our room. Nan woke up and I jumped up out of bed in the little cot. He let us know that the infection is gradually being controlled and that the lack of high fevers was an extremely positive sign. He also set up a game plan to get Nexavar, the next drug we are trying to obtain for managing the tumors. He said he would write a prescription and I could go to WalMart and get it. So as the morning progressed I waited for the prescription. His office called to say it was not all that simple. The drug could only be ordered using a program called Reach directly from Bayer. Someone in his office was working hard on the process, had been in touch with Bayer already and they knew the urgency. Soon they faxed over a form to sign and just then Nan woke from a long nap and was able to sign. The nursing staff faxed it back to the office and they forwarded it to Bayer. Around 5 this afternoon Alice from the office called to say Bayer had gotten the papers and by Monday would have things worked out. So at this point we do not know if insurance will pay or if I will be called on for the funds. The infectious disease doctor talked with us about their concerns, the infection in the blood is a minor form of Staph, not a dangerous strain and the antibiotics appear to be helping. He said that we might be able to go home with antibiotics that we could administer like we have in the past. He also raised the issue that if Nan has a fungus, a yeast type infection inside it could be much more difficult to treat. He said they are still eyeing the picc line as a possible source of her infection and the picc line might have to be replaced.

Nan was able to manage her day well with 8 mg doses of Dilautid and Adavan for extreme pain. She was awake many times and totally aware of everything. When she spoke to Dana she asked her to come and Dana who had just had hand surgery agreed to come as soon as she can, probably Tuesday. Sharon also talked with Nan and is coming on Thursday to visit with Nan. And Marilyn is arriving tomorrow afternoon in Oakland at about 6:30 pm providing all the connections work out. Pam is nearing Concord right now prepared to spend the night here in the room and I have the RV recliner out ready for her.

Midday both Nikki and Jason let us know that they were planning on coming to visit this evening. She was so happy that they could come knowing how busy their lives are. Nikki and Keanna arrived first and Keanna did pictures for Grammy and was her normally delightful self. Nikki and mom got to talk and enjoy time together, then Jason and Jo arrived later having fought their way through traffic to get here. Nikki and Keanna had to leave to get Keanna to bed and Jason and Jo stayed for awhile longer. We enjoyed being together as family and had many precious moments. Even though Nan had Dilautid from time to time to manage pain she remained awake for the evening. It was just the thing that she had hoped for this morning, to see her precious kids. Thank you for coming to spend important time with mom. Its the best gift one can give, time!

Jason and Jo brought a couple precious photos of Timothy for us and I'm looking at them now. What a dude!

So we have a day with honest sharing of feelings, expressions of fears and hopes and early this evening our pastor and his wife Jeannie came to visit. Nan was so glad to see them and they came in spite of being on vacation. What precious people!

Now Pam has arrived and the party is heating up. She has Nan laughing as they together are trying to fill a cup of water from an Arrowhead bottle and got it too full and it spilled down Nan's neck. Pam is giving Nan a rundown of what she has been doing today.

I'm going to try to include some photos we took tonight with my ancient camera, my kids crack up about my camera, they have much nicer ones that actually take serious photos. But you know my old camera has taken over 50,000 photos so far so to me its a keeper.

We now know the upcoming week will be filled with family we love. Our prayer is that the new meds might be obtained, that they might be the magic bullet we need and that Nan can get some tumor / pain relief. We are prepared to live with whatever God guides us to do.

Thank you dear friends for your loving interest in the blog and a special hello to Lloyd and Bernice, its wonderful that Bernice is feeling better and making a good recovery. We are also very relieved that Roger is back home in N. Carolina with his Carol.

We are anticipating the rest God has prepared for us during the Sabbath hours. We hope that includes rest from pain for Nan.

We have experienced family, heart sharing, hopes, fears and blessings. We are thankful that Nan is much much better tonight than a week ago when we had just arrived soaking wet and with a fever of over 103.

love from our little room, 3117

tim and nan and pam

PS please forgive the lovely photo of a house. Once again I put it in and do not know how to take it out. I'm still trying to get the photos I shot tonight into the report.