Sabbath morning
Dear Family and Friends,
Its 10 am and Nan is managing to get some more sleep. We kept the doggies out last night, Nan did not feel up to wrestling with Starr even though the warmth she brings is nice usually. The 1 hour IV of antibiotics is going in and the 1/2 one will follow. Last evening after Pam left and after Nan had been asleep for awhile show woke enough to lose some of the watermelon and she just lost some more a few minutes ago. I rushed in a Zophram, a good medicine to control nausea. At this point its primary good effect is to help Nan go back to sleep for awhile. She is profoundly tired and has nearly constant lower back pain in the hospital and now more so since we have come home. Yet in spite of the pain she is managing to get some good sleep in. I'm going to call her doctor pretty soon to see if we can up the Oxycontin from 30 to 40 twice a day to see if that helps with the back pain and also discuss the many episodes of vomiting. She kept some hot tea down yesterday but otherwise everything she asked for, apple slices, piece of baked cheese bread, water all came up. I have some concerns about hydration but we had a decent kidney output last night. We've had a very large output from the colostomy and that usually means we are flushing out much needed potassium. Nikki just called and it was so good to be able to talk to family. She and Steve have been working very hard to get the house ready for the afternoon get together for Keanna's birthday. They lead such busy lives and get so much done, I'm always impressed. Mom and I will try to go over about 3 when most folks should already be there and just stay as long as mom can stand being up. She has been looking forward to this event for weeks and will not want to miss it. She loves Keanna in a very special way, is touched by her drawings, her phone calls, her sweet words when she visits. Keanna is like an angel comes to visit Nan and Nan responds so wonderfully to her as well.
I wish I could report that everything was going well here but I really cannot do that. Once again we find ourselves totally upside down financially. $500 in the business account, not enough to cover yesterdays payroll. House payments are due on the 15th. AMEX wants $1,500 to turn the account back on, Chase Visa plans to take $500 on the 17th to protect our credit rating and so it goes. I plan to talk to people on a list of care givers that come to the house for a few hours a day. Perhaps insurance will pick up the tab and I could then feel better about pursuing my work which is languishing once again. I am out of time getting tax info to Ken to rewrite year 2005 and I desperately need to sign up for the on line courses for my continuing ed since the request for a new license must go in 90 days before my birthday which is August 10.
Fortunately several orders came in yesterday, some are big ticket ones which are nearby which will help income in the future. The fact that Yvonne came yesterday is such a huge help to us. It allowed me to see a property in Richmond that I could not have seen otherwise. Having Mary come too was an added bonus and between the two of them Nan was lifted and felt better when I got home. We had a quiet evening sitting by the fire and Nan had less pain during that time period. When Pam arrived that was a real spirit booster. Pam works too hard, drives herself way to hard and yet finds time to drop in with yummy watermelon. She left about midnight and I was concerned about her driving to Lodi on the levee road at that time of night. Nan got to talk to Sharon last evening and they had a tearful conversation. Nan's emotions were very close to the surface yesterday and have been since we heard about the CT scan and possible new tumor growth. We have yet to hear from Dr. Morgan at Dana Farber to see how he sees things after getting the CT scans. Perhaps he is away on vacation or at meetings. His word means the most to us since he knows the landscape and can consult with Dr. Bertagnolli, the surgeon even to see what she remembers about the inside of Nan's belly. It does seem that Gleevec has begun to fail to control growth of tumor. There are other things we can try but need guidance from our expert as what he thinks should happen next. Our local oncologist has removed the Rapamune from her routine for now since it suppresses the body's healing systems. He feels that the benefit for preventing tumor is less than the negative effect on infection control at this point and we agree. Nan continues to not have a fever and we think the antibiotics are working. Unfortunately antibiotics can really play havoc with her GI system and that could be the reason for the throwing up.
Well enough already. You now know what I know and can probably understand why I am sort of feeling overwhelmed, not knowing what to do first or next. I've seen myself as a problem solver over the years but I'm not doing so well right now. For example, I have two weeks of mail to open and sort sitting in a box, I have reports that need to be written that were promised out on Thursday which I intended to write when we got home from the hospital, they had said that release would be first thing in the morning, but it turned out to be late afternoon so no report writing, then yesterday was pretty much spent in caring for Nan and going to Richmond while Yvonne was here. Today is Sabbath and I want to honor my Lord today. Wow, life gets challenging, add in that one of my meds, the one for high blood pressure is missing, can't find the bottle to reorder anywhere and right now when I get up or lie down my head swims so I know the blood pressure is up a bit.
Well enough already again..... we could use a big dose of your prayers asking God to continue to guide and help in our lives. I am asking God to do a big thing for Nan, whatever He thinks is a big thing. He is a God of miracles and Nan needs His help today.
Thank you for listening, its feels somehow better to tell someone, in the past I've been pretty good at just getting started and once into something it suddenly becomes possible. The current flock of challenges has me back on my heels and I'm finding it hard to know where to start wading into the fray.
Sending love, sending our need for your prayers, sending appreciation for all you have done.
May God be in control of all our lives for His glory and for the good of others!
love
tim and nan
ps I'll blog this evening with a report of how the afternoon went and photos if I can remember to take them.
Its 10 am and Nan is managing to get some more sleep. We kept the doggies out last night, Nan did not feel up to wrestling with Starr even though the warmth she brings is nice usually. The 1 hour IV of antibiotics is going in and the 1/2 one will follow. Last evening after Pam left and after Nan had been asleep for awhile show woke enough to lose some of the watermelon and she just lost some more a few minutes ago. I rushed in a Zophram, a good medicine to control nausea. At this point its primary good effect is to help Nan go back to sleep for awhile. She is profoundly tired and has nearly constant lower back pain in the hospital and now more so since we have come home. Yet in spite of the pain she is managing to get some good sleep in. I'm going to call her doctor pretty soon to see if we can up the Oxycontin from 30 to 40 twice a day to see if that helps with the back pain and also discuss the many episodes of vomiting. She kept some hot tea down yesterday but otherwise everything she asked for, apple slices, piece of baked cheese bread, water all came up. I have some concerns about hydration but we had a decent kidney output last night. We've had a very large output from the colostomy and that usually means we are flushing out much needed potassium. Nikki just called and it was so good to be able to talk to family. She and Steve have been working very hard to get the house ready for the afternoon get together for Keanna's birthday. They lead such busy lives and get so much done, I'm always impressed. Mom and I will try to go over about 3 when most folks should already be there and just stay as long as mom can stand being up. She has been looking forward to this event for weeks and will not want to miss it. She loves Keanna in a very special way, is touched by her drawings, her phone calls, her sweet words when she visits. Keanna is like an angel comes to visit Nan and Nan responds so wonderfully to her as well.
I wish I could report that everything was going well here but I really cannot do that. Once again we find ourselves totally upside down financially. $500 in the business account, not enough to cover yesterdays payroll. House payments are due on the 15th. AMEX wants $1,500 to turn the account back on, Chase Visa plans to take $500 on the 17th to protect our credit rating and so it goes. I plan to talk to people on a list of care givers that come to the house for a few hours a day. Perhaps insurance will pick up the tab and I could then feel better about pursuing my work which is languishing once again. I am out of time getting tax info to Ken to rewrite year 2005 and I desperately need to sign up for the on line courses for my continuing ed since the request for a new license must go in 90 days before my birthday which is August 10.
Fortunately several orders came in yesterday, some are big ticket ones which are nearby which will help income in the future. The fact that Yvonne came yesterday is such a huge help to us. It allowed me to see a property in Richmond that I could not have seen otherwise. Having Mary come too was an added bonus and between the two of them Nan was lifted and felt better when I got home. We had a quiet evening sitting by the fire and Nan had less pain during that time period. When Pam arrived that was a real spirit booster. Pam works too hard, drives herself way to hard and yet finds time to drop in with yummy watermelon. She left about midnight and I was concerned about her driving to Lodi on the levee road at that time of night. Nan got to talk to Sharon last evening and they had a tearful conversation. Nan's emotions were very close to the surface yesterday and have been since we heard about the CT scan and possible new tumor growth. We have yet to hear from Dr. Morgan at Dana Farber to see how he sees things after getting the CT scans. Perhaps he is away on vacation or at meetings. His word means the most to us since he knows the landscape and can consult with Dr. Bertagnolli, the surgeon even to see what she remembers about the inside of Nan's belly. It does seem that Gleevec has begun to fail to control growth of tumor. There are other things we can try but need guidance from our expert as what he thinks should happen next. Our local oncologist has removed the Rapamune from her routine for now since it suppresses the body's healing systems. He feels that the benefit for preventing tumor is less than the negative effect on infection control at this point and we agree. Nan continues to not have a fever and we think the antibiotics are working. Unfortunately antibiotics can really play havoc with her GI system and that could be the reason for the throwing up.
Well enough already. You now know what I know and can probably understand why I am sort of feeling overwhelmed, not knowing what to do first or next. I've seen myself as a problem solver over the years but I'm not doing so well right now. For example, I have two weeks of mail to open and sort sitting in a box, I have reports that need to be written that were promised out on Thursday which I intended to write when we got home from the hospital, they had said that release would be first thing in the morning, but it turned out to be late afternoon so no report writing, then yesterday was pretty much spent in caring for Nan and going to Richmond while Yvonne was here. Today is Sabbath and I want to honor my Lord today. Wow, life gets challenging, add in that one of my meds, the one for high blood pressure is missing, can't find the bottle to reorder anywhere and right now when I get up or lie down my head swims so I know the blood pressure is up a bit.
Well enough already again..... we could use a big dose of your prayers asking God to continue to guide and help in our lives. I am asking God to do a big thing for Nan, whatever He thinks is a big thing. He is a God of miracles and Nan needs His help today.
Thank you for listening, its feels somehow better to tell someone, in the past I've been pretty good at just getting started and once into something it suddenly becomes possible. The current flock of challenges has me back on my heels and I'm finding it hard to know where to start wading into the fray.
Sending love, sending our need for your prayers, sending appreciation for all you have done.
May God be in control of all our lives for His glory and for the good of others!
love
tim and nan
ps I'll blog this evening with a report of how the afternoon went and photos if I can remember to take them.
posted by Tim Mustard @ 10:02 AM
2 Comments:
At 1:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hi Tim,
Yes, we are here with you in thought and prayer. It is Sabbath and The Lord desires to give you rest today. I picked up a couple of special verses today that I would like to share.
Jeremiah 8:21 & 22
I mourn and horror grips me.
Is there no balm in Gilead?
Is there no physician there?
Why then is there no healing?
THE SOLUTION:
Jeremiah 9:23-24
This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise boast of their wisdom
or the strong boast of their strength
or the rich boast of their riches,
24 but let those who boast boast about this:
that they understand and know me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,
declares the LORD."
Yes, He does care about you very deeply. He knows your concerns and will give you peace.
Love and prayers ~ Carol
At 11:26 PM,
Anonymous said…
Tim,
Please get up. Slowly, walk over to the sink. Fill a large glass with water and add one ice cube. Find an asprin and take it and the water outside on the deck. Look up at the sky and then at the water. Breath deeply and slowly while looking around for about 3 minutes. Then put the asprin in your mouth and swallow it as you drink the glass of water.
There you just did something good. This should give you the start you need to move on to the next task. You can help write the pages yourself or you can let it just happen to you. That is not a technique that works very well and I therefore advise against it.
Doing nothing is worse than doing the wrong thing. When you can't prioritize just put them all in a hat and draw one of them out.
Started yet? Well ppick one and lets go! Be nothing if not persistent!
Wes
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