Calm restful day for Nan

Dear Ones,

Its 8 pm this evening and the house is quiet. Marilyn is reading under dimmed lights and even the dogs have settled down. But earlier today love was in the air as our children came to spend time with their mother. Jason and Jo drove up this morning with Timothy. Minutes later Nan made her largest response of the morning as she reached out to touch Timothy as Jason held him close. It was a huge effort on her part and just expresses her intense love for Timothy and Keanna. Jason and Timothy just sat beside Nan for awhile and gradually Nan fell back asleep again.

Nan had a good night. I was up a few times with my little flashlight, I would gently pull back the flannel sheet over Nan and then peer closely to see if her blood was still oozing through the gauze pads or not. I found the flow to be slower during the night and this morning Marilyn replaced the pads which were saturated with nan's blood. Terry is coming yet this evening to add more layers of the jell material to try to stanch the leaking.

Pam came to visit late last evening, like being here with Nan so much that she curled up on the loveseat with a blanket and slept the night. It was good to see her finally get some much needed rest. She had a hard time leaving Nan this morning, kept coming back for one more glance, what love and devotion to her friend.

Jason called this morning to confirm he and his family were on the way. He had been making some arrangements on the phone which helped a lot. Early this afternoon Nikki and Keanna surprised us all with a visit and they were able to stay quite a while with Mom, we all got stickers on our hands including Grammy. Mid afternoon Mary arrived bearing some very excellent pizzas and they were a huge hit assisting all of us with our winter diets, well there were vegetables on the pizza you know. So good and so huge. Mary must have purchased the giant versions. Good stuff.

All the while Nan slept and then would wake up, she has trouble getting a cough out and has to work it for awhile before she can actually cough. Sipping water is somewhat iffy and today any form of talking was pretty much out of the question. However she communicated with her expressive eyes and eye brows, her facial expressions and her body language. We usually knew what she was trying to say. Then after awhile she would tire and go back to sleep again.

This evening everyone has gone except Marilyn and me with Terry set to arrive later to work on the wound a bit. We just watched a bit of a Shrek Christmas Special that was so clever, brought a smile to our faces. Which reminds me, earlier in the day when Mary was about to leave she was talking to mom and got her to smile for a second or two, very precious.

I am pretty well staying close right now. I turned down an appraisal I was to do in Cloverdale, just too far to be away from Mom at this important time. Somehow God will find the money we need, just got to do the right thing right now for Nan.

I was able to tell Nan the great news, both Sharon and Dana are flying here tomorrow to arrive at about 2:30 or so in the Oakland Airport. Mary has been kind enough to offer to meet them and bring them home. Nan seemed to understand that they were coming to see her and she seemed pleased, very pleased.

It seems very hard for Nan to do more than basic things right now, coughing is tough, sipping water is tough, she can pull her knees up and then lay them back out straight, she moves about on her pillow. When she sleeps her eyes never really close completely but sometimes when she is awake she can open her eyes very wide but not often.

I want to take a moment to express our appreciation for the many kind comments to the blog today. I have printed them off so all here can read them but they warm my heart. I appreciate the verses of scripture that leap off the page and into my heart, I appreciate hearing from the LRG group and from the people Nikki works with, from classmates of highschool, from fellow GISTers, from fellow choir members and of course from america's poet, Wes.

We are all in this process called living our lives, nan and and the kids have been touched with wonderful opportunities to travel, to perform musically, to lead out in spiritual events and worship services. We have lived a very full and enjoyable life and in spite of the fact that it looks like our enjoyable life is being curtailed we remain very blessed. Nan has expressed no bitterness, ranker, negative attitudes in spite of these 11 less than ideal years. She wants to be able to play with the little ones, she misses that, we wants to see them grow up into youth and then adulthood, she wants what any grandparent wants yet she is not bitter that for her it is not going to play out.

Nan is disappointed in her loses but has not lost her faith in the salvation Jesus provides. When she reaches her hand out and asks that we pray it is confirmation that her faith is there in Jesus.

So now we wait and enjoy every waking moment she has, every attempt at conversation, we treasure our memories, we long for a better day with no suffering, no cancer, no separation.

I thank God tonight first for the salvation that has purchased as such a high price for both nan and myself, I'm thankful for precious children with their heads on straight, who are helpful in so many ways, especially today. I'm grateful for Nan's family who have taught me so much about caring, for their dedication to her struggle and to her life. For the many friends, real friends, deep friends I am thankful, for caring business friends like Tom, Alice, Judy, Bob, Ken and others I am thankful and especially for my personal assistants, Loree and Jean, how could I function without you both.

Many of you have had a huge part in our survival over these past 16 months through the recovery fund. I have no idea where we would be without what you have done but I know we have a roof over our head, fuel in the tanks, drinking water, a full frig and freezer and we are grateful.

Nan has inspired many to look past their petty problems, to hold onto the big picture and to keep fighting for life. I know of noone like Nan in the whole world, I am proud of her, awed by her and totally in love with her this evening once again. What a great privilege I have had to be by her side these past 36 + years. What a lady!

I simply ask that you remember Nan in your prayers, prayers for peace, for a stop to the bleeding and for His divine will to be done in her life, that His timing will be our timing

We thank you for your touch on our lives

love

Nan and Tim and Marilyn

The photo shows Jo holding Timothy out to see Grammy, shortly after this photo was taken Grammy reached out and held Timothy's arms in her hands. It was a beautiful moment.