Nan Mustard's Recovery

This blog is a record of Erin (Nan) Mustard's recovery.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Goodbye Nan

Dear Friends and Family,

This afternoon Nan was laid to rest in the Union Cemetery under a cloudy sky. Yet as the pastor spoke the sun broke through the clouds and shown brightly on us. It felt good to see the sun.

Our day started as we visited Nan in the chapel at the mortuary in Tracy at 11 am. I was not prepared for the huge emotional blast as once again I could see my precious Nan. The people at the mortuary had really done a very nice job of preparing her for our viewing. She looked like a woman I knew before pain and suffering had taken their terrible toll on her. Some of the members of the family and some friends came and we all spent about 30 minutes processing the feelings that whelmed up in our hearts and caused the tears to flow. Nothing had really prepared me for the impact seeing her once again had on my heart. Just as I was not ready to handle the moments after she had died. I've got to say, unless you've been there and faced losing a spouse well you just won't know and that's fine, its nothing you need to fully understand or feel, it will probably come soon enough.

I won't soon forget watching Keanna place a precious book she had made for her Grammy in the casket along with a small stuffed animal, a pug. Others in the family placed small angels with her. Having family and friends there eventually meant everything but not at first, the grief was just too intense and I know Nikki and Steve felt it too.
After we composed ourselves and walked back out into the chilly day our next stop was at Olive Garden for lunch. 23 of us lunched and talked of times with Nan and how much we were feeling the loss. Her brother David was so gracious and paid for the entire meal. Then it was time for the next emotional rollorcoaster, the graveside service. We drove to Union Cemetery where people were already beginning to gather, eventually there would be 50 or more people, Jason's friends who had flown in, Nikkis friends had driven there, long time family friends, local business friends, Irene Wing, a fellow GISTer and her husband Ron had driven from San Jose, friends from the Tracy SDA Church family, from Lodi and beyond. Flowers were placed everywhere and then the pall bearers carried Nan's casket from the hearse to the grave site and the service could begin. Pastor Jim led out, then Leslie Sain sang the Lords Prayer, then the pastor delivered a very personal and moving tribute to Nan and reminded all present of God's promises for a future day of meeting Jesus. Then our friend Julius Melendez played Amazing Grace on his horn and the people sang along, then pastor Jim delivered the committal and Julius played taps. As the trumpet music wafted across the air and seemed to hang for a minute it was over. People mingled together sharing moments of memories of Nan. Then under a chilly sky Nan's casket was gently lowered into her final resting place. Several of us dropped roses onto the top of the casket and the top of the vault was lowered in place. It was done. Nan now rests to wait her redeemer's call. She has given us the best she had and it was more than enough. God only created one Nan and now she is back in His full control.

So now we have to learn to live without her presence in our daily lives. Her inspiration and powerful example of stoic faith and determination will live forever. Nan's example will be the bench mark for suffering and keeping the faith. Never did she lash out at God or man, never did she voice anger or resentment. She lived with the hand that had been dealt her and she lived with dignity and acceptance of her fate.

I am so totally impressed by the Nan I buried today. She filled our lives with joy, excitement, loyalty, quality, devotion, beauty and courage, always courage. I've traveled thousands of miles with her when she felt terrible, yet she never made a scene or demanded anything. She was honest without selfishness, faithful without preaching, stubborn without being demanding.

Tomorrow we will celebrate her life in the 5 pm memorial service at Tracy SDA Church. Yvonne was right in offering better, correct instructions in how to find the church so refer to yesterdays blog responses. Again my cell will be on if you need help locating the services. My number is 925 998 9855.

I want to thank those that helped us today in saying a dignified farewell to Nan, first the pastor who really did an excellent job, the soloist Leslie Sain and Julius Melendez, grammy award winning trumpet player and the staff of the Mortuary especially Jere. I also want to say a big thank you for the mountains of delicious food that was at the house when we came over after the service. I especially want to thank Loree, my personal assistant for her special help this week. Loree was a special angel to us during the time we were stuck in Boston after Nan's huge surgery in June of 2006. She did everything during that time, payed the bills, watched the house, fed the dogs, fish, forwarded emails, handled all phone calls and kept the business alive along with Steve and Heather. I also want to say a special thank you to Keanna and Timothy for being such precious gifts from God, a heartfelt thank you to Nikki, Steve, Jason and Jo for their steadfast help and guidance during the past few weeks.
This evening I send my love, it feels to strange to only speak for myself but the facts are, now I do speak only for myself as Nan has moved to a better place, yes I send my love to each of you.
With love

tim and marilyn and dana and sharon and david and jan and joe and linda and don and lorie and leslie

ps I've included a couple photos George kindly passed along to me and one of Nan and me on the beach in Hawaii when she was still feeling well. What a great great woman and what a huge loss to us all.


  • At 9:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My sister Sue forwarded your blog to us & we are saddened about your terrible loss. We are lifting your family up in prayer today & will in the coming weeks. We found this verse comforting after the loss of our son Joel. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Ps 34:18. Also, Ps 139 & Rom.8: 28-39.May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with Hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Rom. 15:13. Also, 2 Cor. 1:3-4.
    May you feel the Lord's comfort today.
    In Christ,
    Ralph & Kathryn McLin(crumley)

  • At 10:23 AM, Anonymous Bob & Carrol. said…

    Tim & Family,

    We were glad to be a part of the final goodbye to Our Dear Nan. It was a very moving Service and the tributes to Nan's life were moving indeed.

    We along with You will miss Her so much but will be longing for the day when We will meet again where things will be NEW !

    Love & Prayers ,

    Bob & Carrol.

  • At 2:41 PM, Blogger divatobe said…

    Thank you for continuing to blog--for those of us who cannot be there for the services.

    Prayers for you and your family,


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