Nan Mustard's Recovery

This blog is a record of Erin (Nan) Mustard's recovery.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

We are doing what needs to be done in her honor

Dear Family and Friends,
I finally went to bed last night at 1 am and then early this morning sleep eluded me again. To wake alone is such a shocking discovery after all these years. For over a year the first thing I did every morning was to check to see if Nan's chest was moving up an down with breathing. But this morning she was not here, a new chapter has opened in the family life, a chapter without the moral compass of Nan's convictions and her strong sense of right and wrong. There have to be at least a 1,000 ways we miss her already and the list keeps growing.
This morning we drove to the funeral home in Tracy for a meeting with Jere. He led us through things we needed to know and the group selected a casket we feel is just the right one for Mom. We discovered that if no embalming is done then the persons hair is not done, no makeup is applied and no intention is given to making the person look their best. The more we thought about that we just could not accept that Nan would like to leave this earth looking like a mess so we changed our plans and mom will be embalmed, dressed up nicely and prepared to look her beautiful best. As a result of our decision a time has been set that we can see her briefly, it is 11 am on Friday at the funeral home in Tracy.
The next appointment is 2:30 at Union Cemetery which is located on Highway 4 or Brentwood Blvd as it is also called. If you are approaching Discovery Bay on Highway 4 continue on 4 through a sweeping turn to the right, go a couple miles and then a sweeping turn to the left and the cemetery is on the left side of the road. The official address is 11545 Brentwood Blvd, Brentwood, CA. After the 2:30 service we are hoping folks can drift over to our home at 5387 Willow Lake Court in Discovery Bay which is nearby. I have learned this evening that we will have a special guest at the 2:30 service, Julius Melendez will be playing his horn. He a very talented artist who has played with Santana for many many years. I know him through work and is has graciously consented to come and help in honor of the brave struggle Nan has waged. In addition Leslie Sain from Adoration Singers will be with us for a special solo. Pastor Jim will be leading out and I think the service will be a fitting tribute to Nan's beautiful life.
Today was filled with tasks, obtaining a guest book, creating a special program, locating photos of Nan from all periods of her life, scanning them and then emailing them to Karen who is producing a special tribute to Nan to be seen at the memorial service. We have also learned that the Adoration Singers will be able to provide some music as well.
Other tasks involved obtaining the plot of ground and paying the costs of opening and closing, concrete liner and cemetery maintenance. I firmly believe nan would have been pleased with the choices and creativity displayed today and that she will be honored at the services.
Everyone here has been working as a team, cleaning, sorting, planning, buying groceries, giving extra medical things away and so it goes. Apria came this afternoon and took away the bed, I decided I did not need to watch that chapter close, some things are too hard.
I have had many sessions of tears today, many started by the powerful messages from you to the blog, others by photos sent by relatives in Texas of Nan when she was young and suddenly it call comes back, I happened to marry a very beautiful girl who quickly grew into an even more beautiful woman. I was left breathless by the shock of seeing her as I saw her 37 years ago, it was wow then and it is wow now. God has been very good to me, far more than I ever deserved. Wait until you see the photos in Karen's presentation at the service, you will see what I mean.
We rented a second vehicle today for the movement of the wonderful family coming from Texas. I am personally filled with joy at the prospect of seeing all these precious people. I'm just so sorry for the reason they are coming, how I wish it was to celebrate a huge breakthrough in cancer research and that GIST had been controlled.
Some directions are in order. The Tracy SDA Church is located on the corner of Holly and 21st at 2025 I think. You need to exit off the 205 Freeway down to MacArthur Blvd. and then located Holly Street and turn south to the church. I'll try to figure out how to put a map or two in the blog tomorrow night.
We are very honored that Carol Peden is coming from N. Carolina for the Friday afternoon service. It will be just wonderful to see her again, she and Nan are Dollywood buddies and long time friends. I am also quite thrilled that my brother and family are coming as well. I've not seen them in some time and this will be very nice to catch up.
If you have any questions about anything please call my cell, 925 998 9855 or our home 925 634 6132 and someone will help you.
Yes we are coping and a very wise friend who lost a precious spouse not that long ago has been counseling me, I know there are quiet lonely days ahead but I am treasuring these day with a house filled with busy family and friends, we take turns crying as we bump into constant reminders of Nan's valiant struggles and life.
Please pray that we can find a home for our stair chair, that we can locate someone who is approaching a time when they will need one. Please pray for all those who will be traveling tomorrow from Texas and N. Carolina, keep them safe and sound.

tim and marilyn and jan and dana


  • At 12:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thank you Tim, for continuing to write in the blog. We too miss Nan but are comforted that you are letting us grieve with you. Don't worry about the crying, I have had a few turns of it myself.

    Remember we were not just here for Nan. We were here for you as well. We are still praying for you and know that you will continue on each day in same direction and with the same determination that Nan did.

    She trained you well enough! No worries.


  • At 4:19 AM, Anonymous roger and carol said…

    Dear Tim,

    You will probably never know the full impact Nan's life made on so many. She loved life and knew how to make it special. She continued to go and do what she wanted to do and didn't allow her condition to slow her down much. She loved her family and her God. She was a loyal wife, mother and friend. She made history in GIST research and led the way for other GIST sufferers. She did her own research on what treatments were coming available. She was a valiant warrior against the cruel disease and each time she tried a new treatment she would tell me, "It may not help me, but maybe it will help someone else." No, she didn't live a long life, but she lived well and her legacy and influence will continue.

    Yes, this is a very difficult time for you right now. You are so blessed to have family and friends around you helping with the mundane and difficult tasks that must now be done. Each is experiencing their own sorrow ~ their own memories. And you, Tim.... You just can't go from 24/7 concern to nothing without feeling tremendous loss.

    Our prayer is for the ministering angels to hold you up and give you peace and strength for today. You did your very best for her. There was nothing more you could have done. We love you for your devotion and your honesty in your own journey through these difficult years.

    We hold you close today in thought and prayer. I'll see you soon. I wish Roger could come with me, but they have 2 concerts this week end.

    Much love ~ Carol

  • At 8:09 AM, Anonymous Bob & Carrol said…

    Dearest Tim 7 Family,

    We are continuing to remember the good times with Nan and Praying that You will have peace and strength to cary on through the next weeks of adjusting to Her passing.

    We will be there for the 2:30 service at the Cemetary. We are not sure if Our Emotions will let Us to Join the Service at the Church but if We are not there please know that We will be with You in Thought & Prayer.

    Glen & Joyce are planing to be at the Graveside Service too. We talked with them last night at Choir Practice. Music can be a great comfort but on the other hand it can bring memories that are almost more than One can bear.

    Much Love to You All,

    Bob & Carrol.

  • At 9:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My heart goes out to you and your family. What a valiant fight that moxie lady gave. What a blessing you both were to me. I am envious of your wonderful friendships that I have grown to know through this blog that are here in these comments. It will be a lonely adjustment from going to 100mph worrying about Nan, to mundane turtle speeds of every day concerns.
    May God bless you and your family in the coming months. My heart goes out to you. Please know you have "old" friends from Oregon that love and care for you too.
    May peaceful memories give you comfort. Love, Sue Crumley McCann


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