Nan has friends and family close as she holds on...

Dear Friends and Family,

Its just after 10 pm and Nan is finally settling down into some rest. She has been very troubled this evening and has been moving her hands about, we don't know what is wrong and since she can't tell us directly we just try to find answers.

She did pretty well last night but gave me several scares with troubled breathing. I gave her Adavan at 6 this morning and she rested for some time. She has had someone holding her hand or touching her arms nearly all day today. Our visitors have included Donna Want, a long time friend and prayer warrior from Lodi. She is an amazing lady and has helped us out many times including the satelite dish for the Christian broadcasting. Thank you Donna for your help and visit today! Pam was able to come over mid day and held nan's hand and talked loving things to her. Tonight Pam is at the emergency room with a sick friend, that girl never stops giving and giving. This evening Barb and Gerry Lammerding came by, directly from George and Yvonne Millers 50th wedding anniversary celebration in Tracy. It was great to see them as they have been close friends for many years. Gerry showed me several photos he had taken at the party so in a way we got to attend. Jason, Jo, Clayton, Timothy and Juli arrived early afternoon and Nan got to touch her precious Grandson again and again. Timothy was snatched up by Sharon, Jan, Dana and Marilyn and was given some special attention. Turns out Juli will only be visiting until Tuesday when she flies to Singapore and then Australia to see family. They are bummed about losing her so soon. It was very special to have both Jason and Jo sit with mom and talk with her. She held their hands tightly and it was pretty obvious that she knew who was visiting.

Marilyn has been faithfully watching over Nan in spite of the many people who want to spend time with her. Marilyn can often figure out what she is saying or wanting better than the rest of us. Sharon spent a large portion of the day working on Christmas cards that Nan had wanted sent out. Dana has prepared some outstanding food and plenty of it, cookies, veges, real and fake meat, waffles for breakfast, wow, the house smells so good with all the food being prepared.

Nikki and Keanna went to a built a bear store today but built a doll instead, it sounds so cute and has its own little pet and a little pet carrier. Hopefully we will see it soon.

Marilyn demonstrated a new skill today, she took pity on me and opened the deer ornaments which are covered with white lights and stand in the yard looking beautiful. So this evening we have the globe running and 3 very white deer standing guard. Marilyn is really amazing, she knows a lot about a lot of subjects including doing Mom's dressing changes, fixing computer issues, assembling yard deer, creating meals and expressing loving support to nan about 18 hours a day. Last time she was here she sorted all of our papers for the last year and got them into a file system. Took her like two days to do it all, for me perhaps two years if I had ever gotten started. We know its hard for her to be away from her precious little grandson and her daughter and son in law and we really appreciate what she has done to help us.

This evening we have no better idea of the timing of Nan's decline than before. To me it seems she is weaker and less able to do some things every day but I'm not sure really about all of that. I do know we have all told her clearly that we think she has fought a good brave fight and that is alright with us if she decides to take a rest, a sleep. She is no ordinary woman and does not appear to have considered giving up yet.

Thank you dear friends for visiting this weekend, you know you are welcome any time.

In the morning we have to say our good byes to Sharon as Mary picks her up at 7 for a trip to Oakland and then home to the valley of Texas. Sharon and Nan have had a special relationship since childhood and it has continued here as they have spent countless hours together holding hands and sharing love. It is hard to consider Sharon leaving, she is such a special person.

Fortunately we get to keep Jan another day and Dana says she can stay longer, you just can't imagine how much better things are when we have several people who love Nan and each other all under the same roof. I have been lifted, encouraged and affirmed by their devotion to Nan and me.

Now its TPN time. I will be hanging our last bag tonight and we hope to get more from Critical Care in a shipment tomorrow. Terry is coming for blood work and vitals in the morning and has agreed to help move Nan enough so we can get fresh linen under her. We have to be so careful when moving her as the leaking spot on the side of the tumor is huge and continues to weep blood all the time.

I will include some photos from today, I think it might help you to feel the experience of being here better and to know Nan is being cared for very well. Of all I especially photos with nan and her grandchildren. They fill her heart and her biggest regret is that she is not able to get down and play with them like old times. I hope you enjoy the photos.

love

nan and tim and marilyn and dana and jan and sharon

I have included a couple photos from the past as well today.