Nan Mustard's Recovery

This blog is a record of Erin (Nan) Mustard's recovery.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Reality tries to set in....

Dear Family and Friends,

This has been a day of contrasts as you might expect. We started the day by rising early and sitting around the breakfast nook and just talking, mostly about Nan. Next we loaded up the van with 7 of us for a trip to the Oakland Airport. David and Joe, brothers, Linda, sister in law, Leslie, Dana's daughter in law, Dana, sister and Ronnie brother in law and me drove to the airport with David at the wheel. At the airport we found no lines and no traffic. Tearfully we said our quick goodbyes and a large chunk of the nan's family was gone. Then I turned the car toward home. It was a very difficult trip until I finally called Art and he talked me all the way home.

I have found that little things like a favorite picture, well actually any picture, can bring back a flood of good memories and the sobs attack. A few minutes pass and then one moves on. Back at home Jan and Sharon were working in the master bedroom sorting clothes and shoes. Everyone found something special to take home, something that will remind them of Nan and her love of comfortable and pretty things. My master bedroom is now the cleanest it has been for some time since keeping it tidy has depended on me and I'm not very good at cleaning up. One discovery the ladies made today was a dirndal (sp), a little german outfit that Nan wore at Pinecrest Camp. Can you imagine that it is still here after 37 years? I am so glad they found it as it is one of the first images I have of Nan. Sharon has hung it on the wall and I will get it specially shadow boxed in the future. The ladies, Jan, Sharon and Dana have found wonderful treasures that Nan has purchased and saved. While it is a labor of love I am so relieved that they have found things they will wear and can enjoy in their lives back home. I know Nan would be very pleased with that.

Jan left out of Sacramento this afternoon and is home by now. She has been amazing helper demonstrating a skill level at organizing, cleaning and doing layout for the brochure we handed out at the services. What a plus she has been to Nan while she was still alive and since in tribute to Nan since she passed to her rest.

Dana and Ronnie are so precious and have been extremely helpful, with Dana on board no one is ever hungry or thirsty. She like Nan has an amazing ability to sense when guests need something and solve the need. Ronnie has been a total helper like always. No one in the world could have a more pleasant personality and helpful attitude. Give Ron a problem and he solves it every time. We have found him in the kitchen every night cleaning up from the days activities. He loads a mean dishwasher and leaves everything clean and sparkling. Sharon has been a great asset to this entire process. Her solid faith and unswerving devotion to Nan has helped us through an impossible time. Simply put, Sharon loves Nan in a very tangible way and has called and talked to her nearly every day for years. She has helped Nan deepen her faith, find solice in disappointment, dry her tears and keep her precious faith. There is no one like Sharon in the whole world and anyone who knows her knows that to be true. Her words yesterday at the memorial service were so touching, She intends to meet Nan in Heaven at the Second Coming of Jesus and she urges all of us to make sure our relationship with Jesus is such that we too can be there to join Nan for eternity. Jesus does not call us to be religious, He calls us into a love relationship with himself so He can guide, comfort and bless us as His eternal children.

I know Jesus did not want to take nan away from her family and friends but neither did he want her to continue to suffer when she ran out of options for getting better. I wonder tonight how I can possibly exist without her in my life. She was the light in a dark room, the voice to come to, the go to person for common sense, the sparkplug for Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, the travel agent for going somewhere, the calm voice in tough impossible times. I have no idea how I can go forward yet we all know forward is the only way.

Dana and Ronnie are home, she reminded Sharon and me of a gravestone that Dana feels Nan led her to, here are the words inscribed on the stone, see what you think.
God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be, so He put His arms around you, and He whispered, "Rest in Me".
With regretful eyes we watched you go, we saw you pass away. Although we loved you dearly we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best.
You are in our hearts forever.

We all think those words are special, thank you Dana for finding them.

In the morning Sharon flies out of Oakland and letting her go will be difficult. Nan's family has been so amazing in their love and support. Our family here has been very thankful for their help through the painful steps that are required in saying a fitting goodbye to Nan.

On behalf of the family I want to express our deepest appreciation for the flower arrangements. They are the most beautiful we have ever seen and every one of them touched our hearts. Our home has a wonderful fragrance from some of the arrangements. We also donated several of the arrangements to rest homes in the Tracy area so they could keep on giving comfort and joy.

I also want to thank each of you that could attend either or both of the services. It felt like the full team was there, friends, family, fellow GISTers, co workers. In spite of the blanket of love laid down by everyone there are still moments that it seems the heart is going to break all over again.

Tomorrow I am going to start taking care of business. Marilyn is going to help me for a brief time in getting the business on its feet again. There are files to set up, clutter to remove and a big need to get the office on a more organized footing. I am going to see a property in the afternoon after taking Sharon to the airport in the morning. I have a rental van to return and phones call to make to various parties. Several of you have called today and I really appreciate that. Nikki and Steve had a small BBQ this afternoon and Sharon and I went over for awhile. Their invitation helped the day pass quicker. Tonight I hope to get some real rest for a change, I've not been able to sleep very well yet and keep waking to make sure all is well.

In a short time I am going to switching to a new blog address allowing this blog to rest. However several people have indicated that they are going to print off all the blogs and comments from the beginning. Can I share something here? I want to express my deepest gratitude to Jason for his work creating the blog so long ago in Boston. The blog has united all of us in this quest for Nan's recovery. It has reminded all of us about the value of family, friends, prayer, care giving and our need for each other. Jason you did well way back then and it has helped all of us so much.

So for this evening, we are getting sleepy, Sharon is doing Ronnies job of cleaning the kitchen and munching as she cleans, marilyn is reporting on her day in Sacramento with her friend, a fire is burning in the living room and I'm sitting by the Christmas tree with its gifts for Timothy and Keanna stacked neatly underneath. I'm adjusting to a new life, one that is up to me, its a forced change but once again our options have run out. I need your prayers as do Nikki and Steve and especially Keanna, Jo and Jason with Timothy.

Good night dear friend, dear family member.

love

tim and sharon and marilyn

2 Comments:

  • At 11:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If in fact as you say the only option is forward, I have a question for you. You said you were talking to Art! Do you think that is really forward? Entertaining to be sure. I talked to him myself at the Memorial Service dinner and was greatly diverted and the room seemed strangly warm during that period as well but as for moving forward I am not sure that was the case. This take more study and more data before any conclusion can be reached. I know you are up to the task and will provide a full report at the appropiate time.

    Some of your relatives were a little wierd. That is to be expected as some of them were from out of the country, Texas. I can't remember which one of the cute ones said they thought they talked like everybody else! Can you believe it? You could have cut that accent with a knife and spread it on some bread. No honey required though cause it was real sweet. The weirdness was easy to overlook though as they were very well behaved and from my perspective extremely helpful!

    If your schedule is open I will be performing at the Grand Theater in Tracy 7:30 PM. I will be tooting my own horn as usual!

    Wes

    ps your are welcome for dinner any time. Come on over, I'll cut the cheese!

     
  • At 8:09 AM, Anonymous Bob & Carrol said…

    Good Morning Tim & Marilyn,

    Thank You Marilyn for staying with Tim for a while to get things going again. You truly are a Godsend to Him & the Family.

    Carrol & I will stay in touch and will gladly do what We can to help fill the void that Nan's passing has left Us all to deal with.

    It was so good to see Rusty & His daughter with Jan at the Memorial Service on Sabbath . It had been over 40 Years since we have seen Him. Many times Carrol was His "Baby Sitter" Rusty and Our Dear Son Rick were fast friends all of the way through School & into College too. Seeing Rusty brought back fond memories of the all to short 40 Years that We had Rick with Us. We are determined to Meet Him again along with Nan when the Lord comes to take Us all Home at last. Why were these Wonderful Singers taken from Us so soon?

    God Bless You Tim,

    Bob & Carrol.

     

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