Nan Mustard's Recovery

This blog is a record of Erin (Nan) Mustard's recovery.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Its a tough time right now....

Dear Friends and Family,

This evening my emotions are scrambled. Of course they relate to how Nan is doing and what is happening to her. She has had a very low key day with mostly bed rest, several episodes of vomiting, liquid diet only today, mostly water. In spite of the water making her vomit she continues to drink knowing that she needs to avoid getting dehydrated. Nan was up about every two hours last night wrestling with pain and or nausea. She has been running a low grade fever of about 100 for a couple days and has not felt good since late sunday afternoon when things starting to fall apart for her. She is braving her way through the current situation like she always does but is very tired, hopefully todays rest helped her.

We have a big day tomorrow which was supposed to be a meet and greet meeting with Dr. Warren, Dr. Bertagnolli's friend and fellow surgeon who practices at UCSF. However our meeting will be more important since we have a CT scan CD to take to him from Saturday in Concord and the radiologist report that was faxed to us this afternoon. What is weighing on our mind like a mack truck is whether there are new tumors growing. I read the report that was in our fax but I can't really understand what it is saying and the radiologist was handicaped in that all he had to refer back to was a CT taken in April of this year before the June 6 surgery in Boston. Dr. Warren should have a copy of the CT scan that was done about 1 and 1/2 months to 2 months ago in Boston near the time we left the hospital. At that time there was no new activity but with the extreme pain nan is now having in her lower back our thoughts go to last year at this time when a tumor was causing so much grief that we had to do radiation on it. So we have Nan feeling terrible, running a low fever, possible new tumor growth, and now a long trip to the city to the Dr. Our dear friend Irene is going to meet us there and help us find our way around and we really appreciate that very much.

I've been trying to work around the medical stuff and take good care of Nan as well as produce appraisals. I try to go see properties when she is sleeping as she was this afternoon. I'm so glad that people call, mary, sharon and possibly others that I don't know about, keep it up please, it lifts nan's spirits so much to talk to her family and friends.

This morning when Gerry and went to Stockton to see a house Keanna and Steve came over to visit. Keanna made her way up the stairs and opened grammies door and in a little voice asked her if she was awake, when Nan said yes Keanna started talking to her and asked her if she could come down stairs for awhile, Nan said yes and they had a great time together. They were still here when we got back so Gerry and I got to see she and Steve as well.

Nan and I both can't find enough positive words to describe our thanks for Barb and Gerrys visit. It was a last minute love trip for them and they helped us in so many ways, food, games, cleaning, planning, getting rid of trash, cleaning and more food. They are such a help in so many ways, we always just cry when we see them load up and go home and yup it happened to me again today. Barb is so good with nan and has been a friend for so long that they just click well together. Gerry is a very positive help to me too, we talk about important things and that helps a lot. Gerry rearranged the garage so now two cars can be parked inside and lots of non essential stuff is gone. Steve and Nikki helped a lot too by taking things that can be sold or given to other parents of little children.

My faith is more than quart low tonight. Nan and I both know knowledge is the best thing because then you start to dig and plan to meet the new challenges but I long for Nan to feel better, to get to start enjoying life after the the long journey she has been on for the past year. I am asking from the bottom of my heart that you remember Nan in your prayers tonight and tomorrow. We seek God's will and trust that He will do the right things in Nan. We long for peace and lack of pain and suffering, to be able to enjoy a good meal without regrets later, to be able to take short trips to places we love and to visit people we miss so much.

How we look forward to Sharon's visit which begins next tuesday. God has surrounded us with solid, faithful, loving people and we treasure every one of them.

Compounding our situation is many of the deferred things we put off while in Boston are coming due now. We are stretching every penny as far as we can and so far we are getting most things paid not too far behind their due dates. However in 3 days our house payments are due again, God has been blessing with lots of work and some checks nearly every day but so far they have not caught up with the needs caused by a couple months away. I do not know how to balance Nan's needs against something as mundane as appraisals yet producing appraisals keeps the roof over our heads, food, fuel and car payments made. I find it a very difficult challenge to leave here and go see properties and leave Nan alone. She is not complaining at all and we do have people she can call if she needs help but after Boston where I was there for 54 days meeting only her needs this seems so foreign and wrong somehow. Am I being blunt enough? I just don't have all the answers right now.

However at this moment Nan needs a new TPN bag prepared for her nutrition and hydration so I will bring this to a close. I know we will know more tomorrow night about a lot of things. Dr. Warren is going to make a decision regarding the wound vac tomorrow and we think he will say yes. That will help the closing wound get finished and we are told Nan will feel better when that happens. We will have a better idea about tumor growth and what to do about it if there is new growth. We will have a surgical friend on the west coast with an excellent reputation to turn to.

Please pray, thank you for praying.


tim and nan


  • At 10:34 PM, Anonymous Marilyn said…

    Good evening Tim and Nan ~
    It's with a heavy heart that I respond to the Blog tonight. I'll be praying for a good day tomorrow. Thank goodness for a Doc on the West Coast that you can go to for help. This way you can stay home - even tho the trip to SF will be a long hard trip. you can go back to your own home and crawl into your own bed. Hold on for answers tomorrow.

    I was with Barb and Ger tonight for a little jazz concert at the club and Barb was telling me about their visit with you guys. They had a busy time and were glad to help out.

    I'll keep praying for you both!!

    Love, Marilyn

  • At 5:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Nan and Tim,

    I read your blog everyday and wish there was something that I could do for you but am too far away.

    I pray for a good report on the CT Scan and no new tumors. Also, hoping that they can find out what is causing the fever, pain and all of the other symptoms.

    How awfully hard it is for both of you right now with all of the uncertainty. You are right, it is easier to deal with what you know and then have a plan.

    I pray for guidance for the doctor to help solve the mystery of Nan's problems.

    Love and strength to you both,

    Sue Muse

  • At 9:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Tim trust in God to guide you. I know your faith has taken a hard blow with the rollercoaster that you have been on. But the only way to find peace and healing is if you completly turn it over to the hands of the Lord. If Nan's needs are taking from appraising God must have a plan in the end. Perhaps his hand will not provide you with funds but perhaps he feels that it is unimportant to have the house, gas and such. Our world causes us to depend on our work. But God has never said we must do this. He asks only for our faith. So please hold tight to that and eventually God will show his plan.
    Oh my sick kid is running to bathroom got to go.
    Please take care and please keep your chin up

  • At 9:28 AM, Blogger Gerry & Barb said…

    Hello dear Tim and Nan, We got home safely from our visit with you two. I am so glad Sharon will be there soon. You do need help! If there is anyone reading this blog and you have a day here and there that you could volunteer to go sit with Nan while Tim can do some appraisals, please contact Tim.(Tim's cell: 925-998-9855) He didn't give me permission to ask for this favor, but it will ease Tim's mind to know Nan is not home alone. This couple is loved by so many friends! They need help. We will be back to help some more. We are anxious to know what the report is from the doctor and what the treatment will be. Nan does not deserve all this pain!
    We love you both and will continue our prayers and add that God will give the physicians the special knowledge they need for Nan's comfort. This morning it is very smoky here in Lincoln. It is coming down from the Foresthill area fires and there is no breeze to move the smoke on out. A good day to stay inside. We send our love, Ger & Barbie

  • At 2:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi Tim & Nan. My thoughts are with you all during this day, and my hopes are high that there will be a good outcome, and a resolution for all Nan's pain. With love, Judy Anderson

  • At 2:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    I just got a note from our classmate, Judy, and read your Tuesday note. Then I realized that you have written many, many notes. I have read a few of them.

    It has been a long time since I have seen you and not sure if I have ever met Nan, but my heart goes out to her and to you. I just wanted you to know that I will be praying for healing and peace and comfort for you and your family. I'm guessing that you have some grown children from some of your stories. Wish I could be there to help, but know that the Lord will provide for you. It is good that you ask as that is what our Lord told us to do, and people gain such a blessing when we reach out to help and encourage.

    May God bless your family and especially Nan and you right now.

    I saw your Dad at campmeeting in July and he sure looked good and looks like he gets some special care.
    Penny (Bartel) Messenger of Oregon

  • At 5:59 PM, Anonymous Bob & Carrol said…

    Hi Tim & Nan,

    How We wish there was some more tangeble way that we could be of Help to You Both. We also have our hands full with Medical issues and very much understand Your plight. Some times it seems that God is putting Our requests on "Hold". We know that is not so but Human Nature sometimes takes over and I'm sure that the Devil is pleased when We become discouraged.

    Here is hoping that Your trip to S.F. today was a good one with some real resolutions to Nan's problems. We are Praying ernestly for that to be the case.

    The Van Spare Tire is still on back-order so stay away from the nails. I'm not giving up on getting one for You soon as possible.

    Sure is "Smokey and Stickey Hot" here today. They say that tonight relief is coming ,(Big Time ) from the delta breezes We will be glad for a breath of fresh air.

    Love, Good Thoughts & Prayers,

    Bob & Carrol.

  • At 7:22 PM, Anonymous roger and carol said…

    Hi Ya'll,

    Our thoughts and prayers are also with you. When we are exhausted and life looks a bit grim we do tend to forget how God has led in the past. He is there. Sometimes he doesn't answer the way we want Him to or as quickly as we want, but he IS there with you. All we can do is continue our prayers for relief from the pain and nausea and for peace that comes from trusting our Heavenly Father who loves Nan and you dearly.

    I would give you a day of my time in a heartbeat if I were closer and if I could get away from our busy time here. I'm glad Barb suggested that people help you if they can. Someone needed to say it. I'm glad she did.

    Sorry, I can't identify with your "smokey and sticky hot" weather you are experiencing. We had a wonderful gentle rain all day with the temperature hovering around 70 degrees. I was still sweating though cleaning cottages.

    I am anxiously awaiting your blog tonight. I have been thinking and praying for you a lot today. You are both loved by many and especially by God!

    Love and prayers ~ Carol

  • At 7:23 PM, Anonymous Billie Jean Knight said…

    Tim and Nan,
    You haven't heard from me since academy, I'm sure, but I want to let you know that you're both in our prayers. I'm so sorry for all your troubles.

    As I was reading some of the recent blogs before Nan's recent bout of pain, I was wondering if Nan might be lactose intolerant - -in other words, she may not be able to tolerate milk or milk products like cheese and ice cream. It would be worth an experiment to leave those off and see if she gets help.

    Sorry I'm not closer to be able to help, but our thoughts and prayers are with you both. We live in Nebraska where my husband pastors the Hastings district.

    Take care and God bless!
    Billie Jean & Kent Knight

  • At 8:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    As a care giver (my husband has GIST), I've followed your postings with deep high and low feelings for you and Nan, Tim, as you savor the good days and plow through the bad days. Your honesty and sharing are a great help to me. I haven't posted anything with you before, and I'll bet there are many like me who are out here praying for both of you, your family and friends and your doctors!


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