Nan Mustard's Recovery

This blog is a record of Erin (Nan) Mustard's recovery.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Bleak Morning

Dear Family and Friends,
How can I describe our situation adequately? I really cannot do it well. Since we got here from the jet Nan has become more and more detached and sleepy. She is not able to carry on a conversation but can express herself in short sentences, arm pain, back hurts, cold. She is not aware of what day it is or much of anything else. The nurses have been giving good care and are gentle with her. Most anyplace you touch her skin it causes pain and her arm where they had to redo things 3 times yesterday is very painful as can be expected. When food comes I can feed her some broth and jello and sometimes can give her sips of water. During the night the fever came back but this time ibuprofen was given quickly and within a few hours the heart rate was back to normal and temperature normal as well. She continues to get 2 or 3 kinds of antibiotics and now I see a large saline bag with potassium going in. While I cringe at fluids going in I know they are neccessary. The extra 30 lbs is making her life extra miserable right now. At 7:30 this morning Jason called from his school trip to DC and she took the call, fumbled open the phone on her own and talked to him, very haltingly but she did communicate enough that he knew it was her and she recognized him as well.
A bit ago she thought she would like to sit up on the side of the bed for a stretch but only moved a tiny bit and had to give it up, too weak to pull it off and it hurt. She did stretch around a bit and wiggle in the bed before going back to sleep again. I guess I have seen her this out of it before, right now I can't remember the experience very clearly as this present state seems to be overwhelming to me. When I am cornered I tend to take action and my situation is this. We could only bring a very few things with us from Mexico on the jet so all I have is what I am wearing and it is now on its third day plus being in the hospital and having to pop up all night again and again I have to keep the shorts on so they have become a part of my body. I need to make a trip to the house to shower and get fresh clothes but don't want to miss doctors when they come to the room. I desperately need to know what is going on and what to expect and what is being done for my precious lady. There is no fixed time when they come in and I won't miss them, just to important to keep the pressure on urging them to do what they can. Since it is a different doctor each day from the same practice there needs to be some continuity of plan. So I just called the office here in Concord to find out who and when would be coming today. It is Dr. Ganey and he is supposed to be walking this way now to make rounds.
Pam just called and I ended up breaking down, was not much help to her at all. The present situation is very frightening to me, how I long for her to feel better, to open her eyes and they be clear and alert, for her words and thoughts about things. Where do we go from here, what is next I do not know.
Please pray!
love
tim and nan

5 Comments:

  • At 8:50 AM, Anonymous Bob & Carrol. said…

    Hi Tim,

    My heart is heavy for You this morning. I understand Your feelings all too well. Those of Us who have to deal with Cancer in the way that You do know all too well what Ups & Downs can do to Our Personal well being as Caregivers.

    Yesterday I had a problem with one of the Main Front Room Window Blinds so I quickly called the Fellow that installed them for Us when We built the House 12 years ago and He said that the problem was easily fixed and would call Me later in the day to arrange a time to take care of it. I did not hear from him by 8:00 pm so I called thinking that I had missed His call. He sounded so different on the phone and broke down telling Me that He had gone with His wife for a Dr's appointment in the morning and they were informed that She had Breast Cancer quite advanced and needed to start treatmet right away. He asked that We Pray for their family and assured Me that the "Blind" issue would be taken care of in a few weeks after He got the treatment & care issues in place for His Wife. They are both in their early 50's and are quite active members of a local Church and needless to say They are devestated at this un expected turn of events in their lifes. How We all do need the Lords comfort & healing.

    We will continue to Pray that Nan will respond to the treatment that She is getting and for Your strength too Dear Tim.

    Much Love & Prayers,

    Bob & Carrol.

     
  • At 11:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Tim,

    I just read the blog and I'll have Art call you, he has been busy around the house and getting ready for the contract in San Jose. He did walk this morning which he really needed. I wish you could take a few hours away from the hospital and go home and rest. Tim you need the rest in order to continue helping Nan.

    Just remember that you have lots of friends and do not hesitate to call for help.
    ---Connie

     
  • At 3:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Tim,

    How you must be suffering watching Nan. How indeed she is suffering and why so painful to the touch. How can all of this happen and again so fast.

    How I wish that we could will away the pain and suffering for Nan. I also wish the same for you in these hours of anguish.

    It is unfortunate that the doctors vary from day to day and I am sure they are trying their best to combat the fevers and infection.

    I pray that Nan's heart remains strong and the healing starts again for her.

    The stress is overwhelming I know and my deepest prayers for the both of you right now.

    Remain by your lovely wife's side and don't worry about the clothes. Perhaps someone will come soon with something for you to wear and a way for you to freshen. Most certainly that would make you feel better.

    The sadness you must feel right now must be overwhelming.

    Again, my deepest prayers.

    Sue M.

     
  • At 6:21 PM, Anonymous roger and carol said…

    Hi Tm,

    I checked the blog early this a.m. and am just checking again this evening...
    I am so sorry to hear of Nan's pain. As a loving and caring husband I know you hurt right along with her.

    Don't worry about clean clothes right now. I'm sure someone will be willing to bring you some and there must be somewhere there in the hospital where you can shower. I'd bring you clean clothes if you weren't so far away. Maybe someone will bring your motor home over for you.

    You are both in my prayers this evening. May God grant you peace, strength and rest for the night ahead. Know you have many friends who are near you in thought and prayer tonight.

    Love and Prayers ~ Carol

     
  • At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Tim,

    Nothing like a good cry. The emotion that gets stored up has to get out. Crying is the very best way to relieve stress. I hope that you are feeling much better now that you have gone through the process. I have gone thorough the process myself and found it helpful.

    By the way that answers one of your questions. What to do next? Well you cried. That helped. It helped you, it helped all of us that read your blog and it helped Nan. Way to go Tim! How did it help you ask? Well, your emotional stress is gone for a moment, poured out on the floor. Your faithful readers and fellow prayers and believers are relieved to know that your crying safety valve works. We can only imagine the great stress that all these hurtles you face cause and we are worried for your health as well as Nan's. Nan has the benefit of having a faithful, caring and loving husband. She is very happy about this, I know.

    Don't worry about what to do next. Just take one small step back. Survey the whole situation, decide on one resonable step based on the information available then step forward. Be careful not to try and fix things that are impossible for you. It is very frustrating, steals you energy, gets you no where, wastes your time and adds to you stress.

    with prayers

    Wes

    ps a young lady in my class once said that if you didn't have enough energy to lift the corners of your mouth you might try letting it sag in the center. =:)

     

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