A ray of light at the end of the long tunnel

Dear Family and Friends,
It is 7:30, nan is taking a nap and I'm sitting here in the darkness trying to sort out my emotions. It has been a very busy day for me and a long one for Nan as she works on her recovery.

For me this day started at 5:30 this morning when I woke up with a very heavy heart, it happens every morning. As I drift in and out of restless sleep, talk to our Father and plead Nan's case with Him, seek His peace, His healing, His will, His blessings for the day sometimes certain things become clear. This morning was one of those times of clarity. I was running over Nan's health issues and gradually I focused on slightly increasing creatines, decreased urine output, increased resting heart rates. What was the common denominator, suddenly it struck. In spite of careful monitoring here at the hospital Nan was becoming to dry, becoming dehydrated again. Yesterday we were told by one of the doctors that Nan would get all the fluids she needed from the TPN bag. As I thought about that I remembered that I had been dumping nearly 1,500 cc a day from her colostomy alone. And with the increased nausea Nan has not been able to drink several bottles of water at day like usual. So I rolled over and called the hospital floor, had the nurse put a note in her file about Nan needing more fluids. I got up and worked clearing my desk, then as soon as I could I got here to the hospital. Our nurse of the day paged the hospital doctor on call and when she called back she agreed to speak to me. She listened to my arguments about Nan needing more fluids and ordered 2 liter bags to be given through IV immediatelly.

I had to leave the hospital around 11 for appointments in San Jose and then Menlo Park. When Nan called me a bit later she reported she was starting to feel better, that she was able to eat her lunch without nausea and without nausea medicine. She has continued to have a better afternoon with only one dose of nausea medicine all afternoon. One time when she called me she asked that I go to the caf and see what kind of soup they were serving in hopes that she could have something besides mushroom. Turns out she has had mushroom soup 4 nights running and she is fed up with it. Well when I arrived I found out that the caf had gone gourmet, Coconut Spice Chicken Soup. That was not what Nan had in mind, she hates coconut in any form. So I got some salad for me, pretzels for her and a new water and headed up. Her dinner had just been delivered and she was not anxious to even find out what the soup was, it was pea soup, one of her favorites so things turned out fine after all. She had a few pretzels with mustard and then settled in for a nap. She was cold so she tucked in with extra blankets, a towel around her neck. The next time she woke up she was too warm so threw off the blankets and had me turn down the thermostat. Then she decided it was time to try the recliner chair. She has now been in the recliner more than an hour and is quite comfortable. She is reluctant to walk and has talked me out of forcing her to walk once again.

I want to say a special hello to Amy, our wonderful ICU nurse from Brigham and Womens in Boston. We always pay attention when she write advice and encouragment to us. She is an amazing woman and along with others in the ICU are a special breed, advocates for the patients. Thanks Amy for keeping in touch, it is wonderful to hear from you again and sorry about the weather you are having, it might get down to 50 degrees tonight, brrrr.

Nan wants me to thank each of you for your prayers. She specifically wants me to tell you that her nausea is getting better. This evening she has only one more hurdle, two huge pills for her GI tract, last night we tried them with applesause but that did not work so tonight she will try to take them directly and see if she can get them down. As you might imagine Nan is worn out from all the things, meds, days in the bed, that she has gone through. At this point there is no talk of when she will be released to home. I can only pray that it will be at the right time when she is ready and is feeling better. Of concern to me tonight is her heart rate. It is ranging from 122 to 139 this evening and that is when she is basically at rest. I'm not sure what will bring it down to a more normal 100 to 115 for her. Can we place her heart in God's hands this evening asking for His help and healing?

Tomorrow I am going to spend most of my time here with her in the room. I have a local appraisal to do here in Antioch and several that I can write up while being with her. She has promised that we will walk in the morning, it will have to be short walks due to her heart rate off the charts.

So tonight we are grateful for diminished nausea and for time in the recliner. For a different soup for dinner and for good care from todays nurse, Christine. She told us she has a 13 month old baby and of course can't wait to get home to see her. She hardly takes breaks and is so careful about giving excellent care.

So we thank God for a safe day, for a bit of recovery and for excellent care overall, for hydration and for less nausea.

love from room 316

tim and nan