Friday evening in Kona

Dear Family and Friends,
Time has gone by very rapidly for me over the past few days. All too soon the vacation changes locations for me and Nikki, Keanna and Steve head home. since they are flying on ATA they are not all that anxious to load and fly home. Small seats, cramped conditions and a long time, over 4 hours in the air. It was 5 hours and 40 minutes coming over. Yet they have had a splendid time and have spent hours at the beach, snorkeling, whale watching, dolphin watching, sunset watching, shopping, eating and relaxing. Keanna is so looking forward to getting home to see Melaboo, their black lab. Also since we have been here David and Lacy, Steve's brother and friend have brought their new baby home from the hospital. So Uncle Steve and Aunt Nikki are going to see their new little niece.

I am flying to Honolulu tomorrow afternoon at 2:15 and then on to Lahuie to spend time with Jason, Jo and Timothy for a few days. then on the 2ND I leave in the evening to fly a red eye to LA and then home in the morning of the 3rd. I am so thrilled that I have had this chance to be with my family during this time. It has helped this Christmas to become a positive series of memories instead of sadness.

We rose this morning and went to our own pool area planning to eat at the little dive there. When they took a long time to get there to take our order Steve said, lets leave. Well we did and found ourselves at the breakfast place at the Sheraton next door. Not only did we have a great breakfast with many choices of good food but we sat at the water's edge watching the breakers come and go. The nicest thing was much less cost for breakfast, much cheaper, then we went to the beach nearby for excellent snorkeling. Steve and Nikki took Keanna with them out into the ocean and she did her best yet at looking under water at things. Finally after we were baked we left to come back and shower. Then in the afternoon we shopped in the local markets. This evening had pizza and popcorn and now I am watching Keanna while they go out for a last night here in Kona for this trip.

I tried my hand at taking a photo with my camera and sending it out to a few people today. Had never done that before but George said he got it. It was so good to hear George's voice. They are attending a special event this weekend and learning lots of deep things regarding the future of Christianity in the world. It sounds very exciting.

As I was watching the sun slip behind the ocean this evening I called Jan. My call caught her totally by surprise as she was having a rough moment remembering her relationship and love for Nan. We talked and I think we both felt better afterwards.

This process of losing someone you love so completely and who you have lived totally for, well its tough to comprehend, tough to accept and tough to understand. Art helped me this evening as we talked and laid plans for his help for me in the future. I've not spent much time considering my own future over the past few years. It was always a focus on finding a way to relieve suffering, promote healing, build strength, battle tumors and share hearts. Now my focus has to change dramatically, to myself and then to others in the family and then to others who might have special needs outside the family. I don't have a clue as to what to expect in the next few months. I know I will work hard, try to tidy my finances up and reduce spending, built the business up and find a new lifestyle of health and exercise.

At the present time walking up even a slight hill makes my chest hurt, makes me gasp for breath and I hurt inside. It is a very frightening way to be, I've never been this out of shape in all my life. I used to run 10 Ks for the fun of it, weighed in at 160 and now I'm over 225 and really really limited in what I can do. Not blaming anyone, just ate, did not exercise and hardly ever drank any water. I believe that this can be turned around, I certainly hope so as this is no way to try to live.

Social security certainly messed up my day. I was assured by SS when I called to inform them of Nan's passing that another check for the month of Nov. was coming and would be deposited to our account on the last Wed of the month. So based on that fact I arranged for an auto payment to AMEX for Thursday. Well the bank called to say that SS had not paid a check but AMEX had asked for their money. So I spent just under an hour this morning to finally ge to speak to someone at SS. Yes they did pay the money, yes they did cancel it and yet they would be reissuing it soon, soon meant in a month, when pressed they said in 10 days. Well the bank was nice enough to go ahead and pay the AMEX and just wait for the money until I get home to find it. Frustration even in paradise. Thank goodness for cellphones without long distance charges.

This week with the kids has been so good, we speak often about nan, you can't be in Hawaii without remembering all the places and times we've been here with her. All of us have sad hard moments of remembering and we help each other through those moments. Nan was such a center of activities, she knew everything, dates, phones numbers, people, places so the rest of us did not have to keep track of everything, she would do it well. To have that spark plug for our family pulled out is really felt on many levels.

This evening the weather is warm, probably 76 in here right now with a ceiling fan turning and breezes moving through the unit from back to front. It quiet except for the dryer working on the towels from today. The unit has a living room with huge sleeper sofa, full kitchen with every utensil one could want, two bathrooms with Mexican paver floors, two TVs and storage. On the back there is a patio which is covered and looks directly to the ocean across a championship golf course. We bought these two weeks many years ago when they were cheap, at least cheap compared to today's prices and have used them many times, it is a good place and Kona gets less rain than the rest of Hawaii. Hilo thought which is an hour away on the other side of the island gets a huge amount of rain, just ask Roger and Carol, they have lived there often as they built homes on that side.

There have been cruise ships in the harbor nearly every day during the week and they thousands of cruisers come ashore so downtown Kona gets a bit busy as does the beaches. Yet that is a wonderful way to see Hawaii. We've done it a couple times and loved it. Seeing the orange streams of lava come down the mountain side at night is something you never forget, that was on the last cruise we took.

I'm hoping you all have a good weekend and a excellent Sabbath Day. In spite of all I believe God is good and His timing is perfect. Someone I know and love is no longer in misery but rests in peace due to His love.

I send much love to each of you, so glad to hear from Roger and Carol and Wes. Its really nice to hear words of courage and advice.

I love you all and I think of you often. I know there are GISTers reading this who are anxious, who are fearful and I urge them to go all out in pursuing life, don't accept poor care, try to get in contact with one of the major centers and establish an email, phone or letter communication. There are new ways of fighting GIST every day, use them, demand them, keep the fight going. Its worth every day you can extend your life.

love

tim and nikki and keanna and steve