Bob and Carrol bring good advice on pain.

Dear Ones,

10:10 and the evening is winding up. We had a rough night with several bouts of pain, then meds and then rest again. We also had fever of 102.3 during the night. By morning it was lower and mid morning nan came downstairs. At 1:30 Bob and Carrol came to visit and we plied them with questions re: pain and how they manage it for Carrol. We got many good ideas which we will pursue tomorrow for possible help with this unmanageable pain. Thank you so much for coming, for the sticky buns, yummy and for sharing prayer with us. I wish you could all know Bob and Carrol, you sort of due to the comments they write to the blog nearly every day. These are dear people who have their own battle with Cancer on their hands, a battle they are winning right now. Carrol rubbed Nan's legs and feet today for which nan was very grateful.

Later in the afternoon Nikki and Keanna came to visit, to play and to feed the hungry ducks. However some of the bread looked too good to be fed to ducks so is in the frig saving me a trip to Safeway. Thanks for coming and hanging out with us this afternoon and thanks Keanna for doing such a great job of lifting our spirits.

I've been working on preparing 2006 data for the tax man.

The great news is: the Fiero is sold. A very nice gentleman who is a Fiero expert, has owned many of them and knows everything about them drove the car and liked it, gave me the full price I was asking and it is gone. We are so thankful first to our Heavenly Father who helped it pass smog, led us to the right person and especially to Steve who was kind enough to list it in Craigs List for one week. We had one interested party and he bought it. For this we Praise the Lord. The front driveway seems so empty now, I think I need to plant a little tree in a planter box or something to break up all that concrete.

We intend to attempt to see our family practice doctor in Tracy tomorrow to see if he will work with us in some of the things we want to try to control the pain. Dr. Makker is a very tender hearted and special man who does both eastern and western medicine meaning he also does accupucture. One way or the other we will do better with this pain, enough is enough. I feel that God led Bob and Carrol to us today as an answer to prayer for advice on coping with the pain.

Sylvia has been active in trying to locate people who could come to stay with nan while I work and she has her hands very busy this week already. We hope to tempt someone to come and be with nan for several hours at least a couple days this week so I can get out and do my work.

We are also beginning the process of finding someone who can come several days a week from an agency to care for Nan on a formal basis. We will make the initial calls in the morning. We will also be calling the Social Security office tomorrow to learn about the benefits that have been granted. Our two visiting nurses come tomorrow also, one for blood draw and vitals and the other for wound care. Unfortunately we are having more flow from the fistula again.

I have included a couple photos of the Fiero as it changed hands. It certainly sold at a crucial time for us financially wise and we are very grateful to those who encouraged us to make it available.

Please pray for pain management for Nan and for God's healing. We both are growing tired as the days go by without relief.

love

tim and nan

Pam visits, massages, encourages, is a great help to Nan

Dear Ones,
This evening we are settling in after a day of pain and rest. Pam came this morning and has been with Nan until about 9 this evening. Pam and Nan have been fast friends for many years and today was another revealing look at how friends operate. This has been an especially tough time for Nan with extreme pain and hardly any relief other than sleeping for 2 hour segments. Pam has made sure Nan was warm enough, comfortable with pillows, adequately medicated and comforted all day. Then this evening she discovered that Nan had a temp of 102.2 so we all switched gears and took away the comfy blanket replacing it with a cool sheet, added a cool cloth to the forehead and cool towels around each foot, a small dose of ibuprofen and within 2 hours the temp was much reduced. Now Nan sleeps with a small dose of Dilautid just injected 30 minutes ago.
We have enjoyed the cooler day today and what a beautiful full moon this evening. As Pam was driving away it was coming up over a house nearby, very nice. I am always concerned about Pam having to drive over the lousy levee roads to Stockton but she is a pretty smart cookie and knows when to slow down and be safe. nan and I both want to thank Pam for coming today, what a lift to our spirits as she is just a very special friend. This is the same girl who has spent many nights in a chair at Nan's side in hospitals over the years, has spent nights there, has done whatever was needed over and over again. If we seek to see the hands of Jesus we need look no further than our friends, so helpful each using their own skills, contributions to help us as we pass through this valley.
As I think back over the years of our family life I have so many places to pause and reflect. Due to the kindness of Dr. and Mrs Glover we got to see Israel and Jordan, to float in the Dead Sea, to motor boat across the Sea of Galilee, to walk where Jesus walked, to see the walls of Jericho, to step into the river Jordan. Due to the kindness of the Stockton Chorale we have traveled New Zealand, Australia, Europe singing in the beautiful cathedrals of Notre Dame, Saint Stephens and then Carnegie Hall in New York. We loved every exciting minute of the travel, the sightseeing, the choral concerts and being with such talented and lovely people. Thanks to Roger Peden and the chorale and then the Adoration Singers we had a place to minister several times a year joining fellow Christians in song and forming life long friendships. Thanks to Nan's going back to school to pursue her dream of being a travel agent we have been many places for very little money enjoying the beauty of Hawaii, Alaska, Mexico, Belize, Jamaica and a lot of other places. Thanks to the exciting lives our children have lived so far we have been to Portland, Santa Cruz, MBA. Thanks to our friends the Lammerdings we have parked our various motor homes at their Homewood cabin dozens of times to enjoy hiking in the wood, watching the beaver build their dams, enjoying boating on Lake Tahoe and quiet evenings by the fire playing Mexican Domino's. When one begins to ponder ones life the many blessings burst to mind. We have loved our precious Tracy SDA Church, first as the pastor for 10 years and then as friends for the next 18 or so years. It is with sadness that we observe the gradual decline of people who are so special to our family and have been our children's grandparents over the years. I know of no better group of people than those making up the Tracy SDA Church. What a genuine blessing these dear people have been to us in good times and now in hard times. I am thankful that I have reconnected with my brother Jerry and his family and Sibyl, my sister who lives in Ohio. How nice it is to have the phone ring and hear a sibling on the other end. At first I did not know what to do with nan's family, it seemed she was related to every third person in Texas and whenever we were there we visited yet another person and then another but as the years have passed I have come to love nan's family. What an interesting bunch of people who know how to love and have a good time too. Most are real characters and they have enhanced our lives so much.
Due to Nan's GIST cancer we have met yet another group of wonderful people, fellow GISTers. Of those Herb and Kathy were especially close to Nan and Norm has been such a help over and over again with advice of who to turn to for help. Irene is our precious soul mate and we feel like she is family. She has guided us with such deep spiritual comfort and given us courage over and over again. Over the years when Nan had enough strength she carefully followed the two web sites for GISTers and was able to connect with dozens of people to help and to learn from.
So in spite of the darkness we are making our way through now, the gripping hand of pain that holds Nan so tightly, yes in spite of this phase of our lives we have much to be thankful for.
I would not venture any guesses about tomorrow or the day after but I do know who holds tomorrow and I guess we just have to trust that He knows the way through. I don't believe for a minute that God caused the GIST but we live in enemy territory and Satan hates every good thing, every meaning filled life and will cause pain and suffering where ever he can.
Your prayers on many fronts have carried us this far. What I am seeing tonight is a break in the terrible pain Nan is enduring. I am asking that God lead us to someone who can help, or touch her body so the pain can be reduced, or help us know better how to manage it. I am almost frantic at times seeing her in so much pain and having such poor tools to cope with it. We are using what we have but it lasts such a short time.
Please join me in prayer seeing God's intervention once again. He has spared her life so many times, He has lifted her up from low times over and over again. We seek His will for now, this time.
Thank you for reading, responding, praying and reaching for the hand of someone in your family, walk in the park while you can, take a drive for pleasure when you still can, express your love now, not someday ahead.

love

tim and nan

Nan travels to the Social Security office

Good Evening All,
This afternoon we loaded the van with Nan's pump, her TPN system, Dilautid pain meds, ice water, special pillows and headed to the Social Security office. They called yesterday afternoon to say if we could bring in Nan's Birth Certificate then she would be approved and the funds could be disbursed into our private account. We took the hint. Nan called me to tell me the news and when I got home we put our heads together to think, where could the birth certificate be? We were alarmed as we have boxes of files everywhere, Sylvia will confirm that. So when I walked into my office, reached down, picked up a dirty little metal box and opened it right to the birth certificate Sylvia felt prayers had been answered. While Roxanna and Nan waited in the van with the engine running I waited inside for the right lady to become available. Finally about an hour later she appeared and handed back the certificate. I had several questions but she had no answers, said to call on Monday and she would answer everything, like when do we get the money? How much per month will Nan be getting? How much exactly is the back pay? So I walked out without answers but with the assurance that the deal is settled and money will be coming. Praise the Lord for this wonderful news.
I know many of you have been making the SS settlement an issue of prayer and we thank you for the special petitions to the Lord.
It looks like someone may be interested in the Fiero too which would be such good news!
Nan continues to battle pain and today Starr was sleeping on the recliner foot rest and nan moved, well Starr was on top of a nephrostomy collection bag and Nan moved enough to stretch the connection in her back, she has been in a new kind of pain ever since. She has moved up her oxycontin to 160 mg as of this morning and I'm giving a slight bit more Dilautid than before. We have had several nice moments of conversation today between bouts of pain and suffering. I doubt you could begin to understand what Nan is going through right now, I know I can't fully grasp it and I'm here with her. If she is awake she is hurting and longs to go back to sleep. I just plead with God to move us forward from this terrible pain level, what good can it be accomplishing?
This afternoon Roxanna, our long time friend from Conn. called to ask if we could pick her up. She was resting at a friends house but had no car to move about in. We were delighted to pick her up, she has done so much for us while we were on the East Coast and our friendship goes way back, years ago. She spent several hours with us before her lovely daughter Melissa picked her up so they could visit with yet another daughter in Tracy. Thanks Rox for coming to see us.
This evening Sylvia has let us know about a home health agency that just might be able to supply some help during the day several days a week so I can work and nan can have the support she needs. I will follow up on it on Monday. At this point I know of no one who is coming next week and yet I have many appraisals to see so some help would be appreciated very much. We sure appreciate Barb and Gerry, Joyce and Sylvia helping this week, it has meant a lot to be able to work and know Nan had helpers nearby.
Well its about time to: prepare the Dilautid for the night, prepare the TPN, move the suction pump upstairs, move pillows up, get fresh ice water and take it upstairs, prepare the Adavan just in case, empty urine bags, help Nan into the wheel chair, roll her up the ramps (courtesy of bob and carrol), ride the stair chair up (courtesy of Sharon and David), walk her to the bed and help her lie down on her sheep skin (courtesy of Marilyn), hook her up to TPN, suction, takes meds and help her go to sleep. Since we have a tiny frig upstairs each waking event is only about 5 minutes long while I grab a vial of med, Nan puts it into the picc line and we fall back asleep until the next 2 hour mark when pain hits all over again.
Nan continues to have pretty good courage, yes there are some tears and some moans from pain but also happy moments when friends come to call or the phone rings and she happens to hear it. I'm very glad we are able to keep Nan at home in spite of the complexity of the care. She deserves our best as she has always given her best to others.

Please pray that God will touch her with relief from pain and calm her anxious heart with peace.

love

tim and nan

Sylvia colors Nan's hair!

Dear Family and Friends,
Nan got her roots colored today and she is thrilled. Sylvia arrived this morning well before I finally got out the door, lots of business stuff all of a sudden to deal with before I left. Then I was on the road with some good banana nut bread from Sylvia, a mocha and a banana, what a breakfast. I saw a nice townhome in Danville and then off to Isleton along the river. I finally found the house, 40' high with a panoramic view of the water and the land behind the levee. Of course they are not done and the bank is getting a bit nervous so wanted an update appraisal. Then back to Brentwood to drop reports off at the wonderful writer, Jean, a life saver if there ever was one. Then home to allow Sylvia to head home. She has a full agenda for the next several weeks including the wonderful woman's retreat at Leoni Meadows next weekend. Thank you Sylvia for being such a good friend, a good helper and today a wonderful hair dresser.
Last night we were up at 12:30, 2:30, 3:45 and then 7:30 for pain meds. Sort of a rough night managing the pain. There are tears once in a while and mostly soft moaning as the pains gradually move about but never go away. Nan has upped her oxycontin to 140 morning and night now to try to get a handle on the base pain. There comes a time in the morning when she can no longer handle being in bed and wants to come down, same in the late evening when she is ready for bed, each offering comfort for some hours and then getting old. The gentle stomach pump works perfectly and we only stop it when she takes pills which we do not want sucked right out of her system before she can digest them.
We are nearing the end of the antibiotics with only about 1 day to go and the urine is now running clear again.
Nan got a call from Social Security this afternoon. They said that as soon as we can produce a birth certificate for her the funds will be released. Of course the amount they mentioned is about 1/3 less than what the lawyer figured we should receive so I'll check with him in the morning to see if he wants to appeal or lean on them. Anyway it is finally happening and I want to thank all the people who have had a part in getting this process done. I also have someone interested in the Fiero and will know by Monday if that is going to happen or not. IRS has agreed to extend the date that they lien everything until Oct. 26 which helps a great deal. Gradually I have been able to pay the minimums on all the things due this month, it has been a pretty amazing month really, do you remember how it started? about 12 days with no money coming in! Yes I still have a stack of things to pay like garbage, drinking water, MLS dues for one of our boards we all depend on, many small medical bills.
Tonight I am about as tired as one can be, just can't get the same sleep when one wakes up several times during the night. However in the perspective of waking to being alone while Nan is away at the hospital, I'll take this any day. She wants to be at home and trust my care over the hospital and I intend to do my best to assist her in her brave approach to life. There is nothing easy or pleasant about what Nan has to endure now, there are a few bright moments like when I showed her Timothy lifting his head in a video clip jason and jo sent. Just too precious for words. And when Keanna comes wisking into our lives with her games, note pads, dresses... that is pure joy.
I'm wishing I could be a helper for Roger and Carol this month as they face their biggest month and are losing their helper, they need our prayers of support.
We ask that you continue to remember Nan in prayer, I'm not even sure what to pray for anymore. I long for pain relief, for her to be able to eat something, to enjoy some waking moments without torture, to be able to take a ride in the car without it being such a huge ordeal for her. God loves Nan and I have to trust that He knows best.

love

tim and nan

Joyce rides to the rescue

Hi
Long day, winding down, beautiful fall day, Nan spent her day sleeping in the company of reruns and Joyce Western, a long time friend from the Tracy church. Not able to sit still for long Joyce cleaned floors, sinks, showers, emptied trash and was a great help in general. Thank you Joyce for your help today.
While Joyce was here I was able to do some local work, seeing a completed home worth about 1.9 million on 5 acres, lovely home with some kind of shiny solid surface floors, great design and huge rooms. Then to another neighborhood to take photos of recently listed homes and then back home. While out I found the Taco Bell and lunch.
I've been jamming things out this evening and Nan has been a few feet away sleeping and watching TV. She needs pain doses of Dilautid every 2 to 3 hours to survive the pain and if we include some Adavan then the sleeping is extended and more restful.
Our delivery arrived on time this morning, 4 boxes of things we need to survive another week. It takes a bit to get everything put away and our little frig is packed with the supplies for life.
this evening Terry the nurse showed up at the door to just make sure the dressing for Nan's picc line was correct since our trip to ER and the ultrasound might have disturbed it. What a sweet person she is.
Tomorrow Sylvia is able to fit us into her busy schedule. She will be with nan while I head out to Danville, then Isleton, then a relo right here in Discovery Bay, fun fun.
We are trying to get the appraisals we have already seen completed and out the door.
When I think of how much we depend on the help of others it is amazing. Paper towels and Kleenex, apricots, tomatoes, soup, snacks, lunch money, house payment, we are very much in the debt of others and we appreciate the help, the christian dish, the flowers, the lotion for the body and feet wow we are lucky to have such friends and family.
This evening we heard from Sharon, she has sold her home the day before it went on the market, at least it is pending. What a blessing to her and a direct answer to prayer for her as she moves her life forward.
We are now heading for bed, long day, short of joy but long on hope.

Please pray for Nan, for pain relief, for hope, for a better set of days ahead.

love

tim and nan

Barb and Gerry head home, great visit, much appreciated!

Good Evening,

Well its just Nan and me again holding down the fort. We said a reluctant good bye to Barb and Gerry about 7 as they headed home to welcome Mike and Sandy from Maui. Gerry and I spent the day on the road again today visiting a lovely home in Alamo and then picking up a much needed check in Richmond and then on to Oakland to see a perfectly maintained duplex property. They we asked the GPS to show us the way home and it did. We stayed so busy that we hardly found anything to eat during the day but a call home let us know Barbie was preparing dinner, what a feast we had! Having such nice meals has been a fun break for me who tends to prepare much less extensive meals and they tend to be eaten while I am standing doing something else in the kitchen.

Nan has had a quiet day and Barbie reports they both napped quite a bit. Right now if Nan is awake she is in pain so about every three hours she takes some Dilautid and falls asleep again, at least that way she has pain relief. We have been fairly faithful about giving the antibiotic every 6 hours. It is a very clever little device, looks like a plastic baby bottle with a small line connected. Inside the clear bottle is a small balloon which is filled with a 30 minute infusion of the medicine. We hook it up to one of the picc lines after flushing it with saline and 30 minutes later the small balloon has disappeared and the medicine has been given. Then we flush again and that's it until the next 6 hour time. It seems to be doing a good job on the infection. However Nan continues to have extensive lower back and gut pain. I think we should be increasing the level of the base oxycontin and then only use Dilautid for breakout pain but so far we have not discussed that with the doctor. I have been extremely busy trying to keep work going out the door, conditions finished for already completed appraisals, orders in and yes I keep beating the bush for money. I'm still short several thousand to really end the month on an even keel.

I've thought a lot about the dynamics of having friends come to stay and help. I think I get a real boost out of just not being alone with Nan, the fun of eating and talking with someone helps take my mind off the challenges we both face 24/7. I especially wanted to thank Marilyn Bitzer who sent a care package of plastic bags to hold different sizes of left overs and other things and other paper goods. She is amazing and always seems to know what we could use. Thank you so much.

I had a disturbing phone call from Art today as he shared how ill Connie became last evening. She is OK now but it took many medical tests to check things out. Connie, we love you and are praying that you will feel better. We beg you to take good care of yourself as you are precious to all of us who have gotten to meet you and you and Art are wonderful together.

I searched for a couple hours this morning for a sheet of paper that had the right IRS phone number to call to seek more time. Just as I finally gave up and got ready to leave I looked up and remembered I had stuck it to the wall so I would not lose it. So tomorrow morning its time to screw up courage and call our friends at the IRS.

My heart is so with nan day after day as she lives in this world of meds and pain, one or the other with no joy, no food, only water to drink, nothing to look forward to but reruns. Her life is pretty tough and one can only imagine how nice it is when there is someone sitting next to you to talk to, nap with and get help with bags, meds etc.

So for now I sign off. I've included a photo of Barb and Gerry with Nan this evening. It has been a wonderful two days and we deeply appreciate having them fit us into a very busy retired schedule.

We send our love and deep appreciation for each of you.

tim and nan

Nan in ER

Dear Family and Friends,
This day took a decided turn early on. Terry came to do vitals and draw blood, change the picc line dressing and evaluate. When she got the dressing off the picc line she found a very angry red skin, hot and swollen. She thought there might be a blog clot or infection so urged us to go to ER or the see the doctor. The doctors had no openings to see Nan so it was ER. We called Anita, our PICC line lady at Sutter Delta and she said she would watch for us in ER. Gerry and I kept the first of our appointments today in Berkeley since I had already cancelled one appointment with her last Friday. Cute house, nice area, $700K for 1,100 sf. Then we shot comps and Gerry located a donut shop on the way out of town, we stopped since I had no breakfast in the mad rush deciding what to do about Nan and getting her downstairs into her chair last minute before leaving late. When we got into the donut shop it had lots of things including toasted cheese sandwiches on wheat bread. We enjoyed our sandwiches as we drove home and of course Gerry slipped a couple doughnuts in too. Once home we dressed Nan, moved the pump, TPN, meds and Nan to the car then headed to ER. Fortunately they were not all that busy and the lady at the front desk said, why not have your doctors just order the ultra sound and you can skip ER. Nan felt really rough by this time and in a few minutes they came from ultra sound and we did that, turned out nice lady, no clots, then back to ER to be told xray was needed so to Xray where Nan almost folded as she was forced to stand for the photo. Then back to ER to sit in the wheel chair for 30 more minutes, no bed was yet available, then Anita and a doctor appeared, said everything looked good and allowed us to go home. We reached the car and hooked up the pump to Nan immediatelly and before we reached home the canister was 1/2 full. No wonder she felt some nausea. So false alarm, no clots, not infection and no real explanation why so red this morning. Nan was so very tired and full of pain when we reached home, I gave her Dilautid and she slept for awhile. Later she woke to watch a short clip from jason and Jo which shows Jason interacting with Timothy, so cute! Just helped the evening pass.

Barb and Gerry have been wonderful today, it was so nice to head to ER with someone along to help with things and to have encouragement. They read and waited in the waiting room for hours but were ready to head home, we had a Papa Murphy's pizza ready to bake and Barb made salad, Gerry purchased peppermint ice cream and we have a feast while Nan slept. she was doing what she wanted to do and so were we. Great feast! Then Nan woke a bit to watch some of a Murder She wrote Episode and then at 9 asked to go up to bed. I took her and moved the pump up and now have her TPN ready along with meds for the night and ice beside her bed for her water. Althought the day was cruel for Nan she endured it without complaining, amazing depth of character and courage. She is a real hero and a huge example to others who complain about hang nails, dry hands, split ends and sagging body parts. Nan wears her 4 collections bags, her stomach tube, her dressing for the fistula and does not complain, moans some yet indeed but I think that can be understand and appreciated.

Our day saw an income of $1,000 and a check cleared to Citi bank for $1,000. We could easily use $5,000 right now to really catch up but we are so much better than I expected to be at this point of the month I just thank the Almighty.

Tomorrow Gerry and I will do things that had to be cancelled today so we could get to ER. Then they have to go home tomorrow evening. Mike and Sandy are flying in from Hawaii tomorrow evening and Barb and Gerry need to move about 40 empty boxes out of the guest room so they can sleep. Its exciting to have Mike and Sandy home for a few days from Maui where they now live.

Having Barb and Gerry here has been such a lift, they are real friends who don't demand anything, help in every way they can, make things shine, food taste good and life have more meaning.
'
Well now its time to catch up on sleep. we only were up once last night during the night which is real progress, not so sure about tonight, Nan is so tired and so filled with pain.

Good night friends, please pray that God will guide, heal, comfort and strengthen. Also that Carrol's hand will continue to heal and that Carol in N. Carolina will keep her health until she can find new helpers, she is overworked right now, way too much girl.

love to all

tim and nan and barb and gerry

Sunday evening, Barb and Gerry arrive

Dear Family and Friends,
We are coming to the end of another eventful day. Barb and Gerry arrived this afternoon at 4 as planned and we now have two clean cars and some very good food to eat for dinner. We had a decent night, up many times but nice rest in between. Less pain meds as we introducted antibiotic again to deal with the kidney infection. nan has been down in her recliner for most of the day and has a stronger voice, feels better in general and has gone hours without pain meds at times.
I have split my time between sitting with her, caring for her needs and sorting and working on taxes for 2005. I am nearly ready to turn it over to Ken now.
Tomorrow Gerry and I are going out to see properties and Barbara and nan are going to guard the home site. Tomorrow morning Terry is coming about 8 to see nan and then the wound care nurse will come later.
We have been giving Nan antibiotics and we think we see the beginning of improvement in the side and back pain. Yet we maintain hope for better days ahead.
So now its rest time. It was good to hear from friends today. It is always good to hear from friends and family.
Art called today and drove out to visit us. Its been some time since I got to see Art and it was great to reconnect the voice that means so much to me every day with the smiling face. Thanks Connie for sharing Art with us for awhile. What a special guy you have on your hands. Just great to shake hands and to feel the support!
love
tim and nan and barb and gerry

A day of rest

Good evening,
We had a decent night with a few times up. Nan came home from the hospital feeling much stronger and better. We had a decent evening. We did not roll out this morning until after 9 am. But during the day nan developed intense pain in her side. We have noticed that for days the urine is cloudy. We asked that the urine be checked when she was at the hospital but since she was asleep she did not know if the test had been done or not.
We called Dr. Melynk who was on call and asked for his help. He checked and found out the tests had been done, there were bugs growing and yes antibiotics would be ordered. I gave hime the number for Critical Care, he called and ordered the drugs and a few minutes ago the delivery service brought the drugs. I have the first dosage going into Nan's picc line right now. Our experience says that she will show improvement in a few hours. So for the next 5 days every 6 hours we hook up the drug. We sure are glad that Dr. M was on duty today, a life saver.
This afternoon Pam came to visit, brought this wonderful lotion, brought Marie Calendars potato soup and a wonderful pie, I mean wonderful. I hope Barbie and Gerry can help clean it up, I'm sure they will help. We sure look forward to seeing them again as they have been very busy and traveling all over. We appreciate their fitting us into their busy schedule.
They arrive tomorrow afternoon at 4 pm to stay until sometime on Tuesday. That will be a wonderful help and Nan looks forward to seeing them again. Gerry and I will head out on Monday to see some properties and Barbie and nan can hold the fort here at home.
Pam stayed the whole afternoon and we napped, she rubbed nan with the lotion and we talked. Finally she had to head home but her visit was just perfect, so great to see her again.

Nan was in intense pain this evening and I am so glad that the antibiotics arrived as the kidney infection was pretty strong I think. She has been asleep for about an hour or more now and I've been loading up the pain meds for the night to save in the little frig upstairs. Saves stumbling down stairs several times a night to get meds.

Well good night my friend, thanks Wes for being the lone wolf to write to the blog and thanks for mentioning Nikki and Keanna. Nikki says it was totally fun today and Keanna loved it. Thanks for doing good things for my children.

Today was Jason's 30th birthday and as we both talked to him this evening he said he has enjoyed parties, we could hear Timothy talking in the background. Jason and Jo are doing such an outstanding job of being parents, we are totally impressed and just love the little guy so much. I love seeing Keanna and Timothy together. It makes all of life have great meaning and deep joy. We are thankful to God for our kids, I know you feel the same for your kids, we are really enjoying having grandchildren, we had no idea how precious they would be.

Love

tim and nan

Grammy gets her blub!

Dear Family and Friends,
Today has turned out better than we expected. We had a decent night, up about 5 times with pain during the short night. Loaded Nan up at 9 and got away from the house at 9:20, drove directly to the hospital in Concord, to admiting, then to short stay where they had the blood already. We thought 10 hours but they did it in less than 7. After I got Nan settled and instructed the nurse, call the doctor for pain med orders, get urine samples, hook up suction. Well out of the various things I told her we got a messed up hookup for the drain, hardly drained anything all day but was a mess, forgot to have the urine samples taken, did give pain meds one time. nan went to sleep at 10 and slept until 3 pm. The blood went in smoothly without incident and when I called in from MBA at 3 pm they told me they would be done by 5 pm. I had planned to see a property in Berkeley at 5 and then drive back to the hospital expecting nan to get out about 8 pm. We left the hospital at before 6 and then had little traffic heading home so we got home at a decent time. nan feels much much better with the new blood, less pain this evening, less suffering, more contented.
I was able to drive to Aptos to see a property, get Jason's birthday gift wrapped and even got to see he and Timothy briefly. Little guy was awake and just chillin, so fun to be with and to watch. Bright, alert and active. After a few minutes I had to hit the road back. We had dreaded the day and it was true, the ride over was miserable for Nan but the ride back was better. We got the pump to work in the car using an inverter and we pumped over half of a canister full on the ride home, more than they had pumped all day at the hospital.
This evening I am very tired, not too much sleep last night, up early to prepare for the day and to get the car loaded with everything we needed, drove all day and have been busy doing things since we got home too. Not its time to rest. We both look forward to sleep.
One check in the mail today, praise God for that. How we look forward to Sabbath, rest day.
Special thank you to Steve who showed up yesterday afternoon and in a few minutes whipped my yard into better shape, edged, blown and mowed, that guy can fly.
Good night friends and family, thank you for your faithness in prayer this week.

love

tim and nan
ps for those of you who do not know, Keanna calls blood blub so our family knows blood as blub. We think it is cute.

Marginally better

Good Evening,
Our big trip to the hospital is going to take place in the morning instead of today. By the time they called today it would have been impossible to get there, to get the blood and home before 2 or 3 am so I asked for Friday. We will leave around 8:30 in the morning for a 10 am check in. After Nan is comfortably in bed I will drive on to conduct appraisals in Aptos, Berkeley and perhaps other places too as time allows. Nan is ready for blood and can feel the low hemoglobin when she stands or walks. Last night she made a decision to rip off the pain patches and go back to oxycontin. She had a much better night with better pain control. We were only up twice during the night to add some Dilautid to the mix and this morning she just pushed 1/2 of a tube in, waited for an hour and then used the other half. While she has not felt chipper today she has felt better. The wound care nurse showed at 10 and changed the nephrostomy dressing/locks, then Nan took some pain meds and went to sleep. She came down late morning and has been residing in her recliner since. We've done a bit of pain meds and Zophram but she has rested most of the afternoon and is fairly comfortable.
Blue Cross called today to do a monthly inquiry to see how Nan was doing and so we got a chance to discuss home health care for a couple days a week. The lady was filling in but called back with good news. First we get a doctors prescription stating that nan needs some LVN care at home, then we locate an agency that can supply such help and will take Blue Cross, then we proceed. That is such good news and will be a huge help in nan's care. The last two days I've been helping her and while I love every minute of it I have a harder time getting the neccessary work done to keep appraisals flowing along. This way we can perhaps locate someone who can come two days a week for 8 hour shifts and then friends or family can also help sometimes and I can certainly take my part as well. So that was good news.
There is no way around the fact that we miss Marilyn. She has become so much a part of our family that we often think of her with fondness.
This afternoon Nikki, Keanna and Steve showed up, STeve to mow and edge the lawn with his new equipment, he has started a landscaping business and is doing great getting it going. He sure made quick work out of our little lawn and weeds. Thanks Steve. Keanna and Nikki talked to grammy and then were gone off to dance class. What a sweet little person she has turned into. Seems to be feeling good again today which is wonderful.
I have been working up some appraisals, made appointments for tomorrow and finished the imputing of the data for tax year 2005. Now I need to add things up, like PG&E, Phone bills, DMV taxes, mortage interest paid, other work related expenses and then submit to Ken who will work his magic. Of course I have to start on 2006 immediatelly as that also needs to be filed by Oct. 15. I hope never to be so far behind again with this stuff. Gradually I'm climbing out of the hole and Marilyn's sorting so many papers sure helped a lot.
This week our normal visitors are away, Mary is in Hawaii, Pam has been in Walla Walla with Shannon but soon Mary will come home and I think Pam is heading back or may already be back now.
Our life has come down to this, I am most relieved and contented with Nan when she is asleep because I know she is not hurting then so I try to keep the dogs quiet, the house still and comfortable and the pain meds moving along. I need desperately to go grocery shopping and have quite a list now but really can't get away for long leaving Nan. I am finding things in the freezer and shelves to eat but basics like eggs, milk, ice, are in short supply as is bread and creamer for my constant hot drinks.
It was so cold this morning when I finally dragged myself out of bed that I went and found a tiny space heater for under my desk. I had left the house open so it would air out, well it did and turned to ice in the process. Love this weather! Soon we can build a fire and enjoy the flames!

I'm blogging early because I hope to go to bed early as we have to get up so early tomorrow to get Nan ready. Moving to the van is so simple process and oh the pain she endures from riding the hour there and back.

So good night my friends and family members, we send our love and appreciation for your faithfulness to us in our hour, week, years of need. And special thanks to those who gave to the recovery fund. Your gift is now keeping the tank filled in the van, the food for lunches and the very basics of life, thank you for your recent gifts. Their arrival was timely and much appreciated. It took our poor personal account from red to black, thanks.

love to each and every one of you,

tim and nan

Timothy and Jason come to visit, nice

Dear Family and Friends,

Are you getting tired of reading about our troubles? We are tired of having them too. nan has had a rough day with almost constant pain. Terry was here to draw blood for the type and cross which preceeds a transfusion. She gave us her best imput on pain control and we tried the Roxinol we had on hand but still no relief. This evening Nan is fed up with the pain patches, she is persuaded that they are not working or helping her. So at her request we pulled them off her back this afternoon and she has gone back to taking the oxycontin pills which seemed to be better and more effective. Tonight we will try a blending of Roxinol and Dilautid at different times in an attempt to hold off the pain and allow Nan to sleep. She has had some rest today. After jason and Timothy left at 3 she fell asleep and did not wake until nearly 6 which was a good rest. She woke to much pain though. Now we have her back downstairs in her recliner and she has just slept about an hour or so again. Nice.

Jason and timothy arrived about 10:30 today and Timothy put on a real show for us, kicking, smiling, rolling his head, making little noises and just being his charming little self. He is a pleasant baby and slept the entire trip over from MBA, a 2 plus hour trip. Jason is such a good dad, handling all the baby things with perfect ease. He loves to hold Timothy on his tummy and have his sleep there. The boy knows how to cuddle for sure.

I have done a blending of work and care today. I enjoyed having Jason and Timothy visit. There is nothing like family to make the day. It was so hard to see them drive away as moments of joy are few and far between these days. It was precious of Jason to take his day off and come to visit his mother. In spite of her pain she enjoyed talking with him for short periods of time and then having him and Timothy lay on the bed upstairs so she could place her hands on the baby and just look at him. Some of these moments are so bitter sweet and are tear jerkers.

So tonight we still seek God's directions in coping with the pain. God knows the answers, He can heal, He can calm pain. Why can't Nan get some relief?

Thank you to those who wrote to the blog today, Carrol had a good surgery on her hand and Irene continues to wrestle with the right decision re: surgery or not. How we all need the Lord.

I'm going to try to add a photo or two of Jason and Timothy if I can.

So for now we say good night, probably we will be at the hospital tomorrow for a transfusion if and when they call. Once we get Nan settled in I may head out to see a couple properties while she is in the good care of the nurses. Marilyn, we miss you! Who is going to keep those nurses in line at the hospital?

love

tim and nan

ps did you ever see such a cute baby? We are totally biased. What a love!

ps Keanna came home from school ill today and I've not heard how she is doing so please pray for our precious Keanna girl.

Sylvia is a big help today!

Dear Friends and Family,
Its evening, Nan is sitting in her recliner with freshly washed hair, newly painted toe nails, fresh gown, but unfortunately Nan is still having pain. Sylvia managed to get Nan's pain under control today by a generous use of Dilautid. Critical care even had to make a special delivery of more today as we were running out. Suddenly we are using much more than in the past and yet it is not totally controlling her pain.
Sylvia almost was not able to come to visit today. Steve precious little mother fell and broke a hip. She is having surgery this afternoon and Steve was able to keep an eye on her plus work so kind Sylvia still came here and helped with so many things, sinks sparkle, counters are clear, we are much more organized, she even found the Roxinol which we had lost sight of.
She helped Nan get through the day with minimal pain, maximum rest. Now she is awake with fresh Dilautid on board but with some pain still.
I left home this morning about 9:30 and drove to Richmond, then Walnut Creek, the Brentwood, then a ranchette with two manufactured homes, then on to a house with 5 acres that has been used as a head quarters for a major wind farm company. Finally I was able to come home. Long day, three were COD which is great news for the bottom line at the bank.
I'm looking forward to both of us having some rest tonight, even if we are awakened at times to find pain meds.
I had a chance to speak to Roxanna today, got a text message from Marilyn confirming her safe trip home, talked to Art, my brother Jerry and many business calls. We are suddenly quite busy with new work, much of which is highly unusual in nature. We are thankful but in the next day or two we face a visit to the hospital for a blood transfusion, a 10 hour experience usually. That will be tough for Nan to manage in her present condition.
This evening we have the doors open with cool breezes blowing through, Nan is resting quietly in her chair finally and a Murder She Wrote is on the TV. nan sleeps better with the TV on in the background, I find it hard to sleep that way. Last night we both went to sleep with the TV on, several programs later she woke me to say she could not find the remote. I was glad for the silence and went to sleep. We were awake about 7 times last night with pain and suffering. It seemed like I was only falling asleep when we had to be up again. I was glad when morning came.
Tomorrow I will stay in, care for Nan, create appraisals, work on Taxes, deposit money etc. Jason and Timothy may come over tomorrow and we sure look forward to seeing them. It seems like a long time since we have seen them.
Well now we wind up another day, still searching for meaning to the pain, for relief from the pain, with thankful hearts for Sylvia's ministry today. She is really amazing in all that she knows and can do while she is here. Thanks Sylvia and Steve too for sharing her on this tramatic day for your mom.

Please pray for Nan tonight seeking God to step up to the plate and help a little extra with the right pain control. Please God do your magic.

love

tim and nan

ps Looking forward to seeing Barb and Gerry, Roxanna and soon Sharon!

Tired and worn down tonight

Dear Ones,
10:30 and I wanted to go to bed early. Long hard day tomorrow and I'm only gradually recovering by leg and hip pain, coughing and some fever. However my ills diminish rapidly in light of Nan's challenges. She continues to have intense pain, wakes every 2 to 4 hours to ask for pain meds and then back to sleep for 2 to 4 hours again, chair or bed. There is no joy or peace in her life right now, just intense suffering. I over heard her praying tonight, seeking God's help with a moment when she was vomiting, choking, short of breath and intense pain in her stomach and back. This evening when we turned off the stomach pump she became ill and threw up her precious AMN pills. she tried to clean them and take them again but I stopped her, Novartis can supple more, they are not that precious. I took her up about 9:30 and gave her Dilautid and Adavan at the same time to calm her down and calm the pain too. I still need to take the TPN up when I make my last trip. Moving Nan up or down takes about 5 trips to carry things that she needs, good exercise on the stairs when the legs are working well, not so good when they are having pain, all worked out though.
Nan is feeling very rough and I fear for the future at this rate. I think we are both content to accept God's will for her life but its hard to think about or accept.
Tomorrow we are blessed with Sylvia Ahn all day long. She is a real blessing and always comes with cheer and a great deal of knowledge. Nan looks forward to her arrival. And Sylvia if you happen to read this we are very short on Kleenex which Nan uses a lot of every day.
I'm leaving at 9 in the morning for Richmond, then Walnut Creek, then Brentwood for a relo and then a ranchette here nearby and then a ranchette in Tracy and then back home to precious mama.
We are still battling finances and trying to keep enough money going into the bank to cover the vitals that have to be paid. This afternoon I left Nan sleeping, drove to Brentwood to deliver a set of appraisals for which I was to be paid $1,000 but I was only able to collect $500. That was a major blow and very disappointing. I got back home and Nan did not know I had left, she had a nice nap during that time.
Please continue to seek God's direction for our lives and for Nan's health. She has fought bravely for 11 years, one of the longest GIST survivers with this serious wild strain of disease. She has endured so much, hundreds of nights in the hospital, long surgeries, longer recoveries, pain, suffering, tubes, appliances, pouches. Yet she has endured and prospered. On Wednesday she will get to see Timothy again and she looks forward to that so much.

Thank you for caring and praying. These are hard days, no way to escape that fact but we continue to have moments of obvious blessings to cherish.

love

tim and nan

ps Marilyn, we hope you are ok and are rested up from the trip. Nan tried to call today but missed you. She misses you more than you could ever know.

Its hard when your angel flys away

Dear Family and Friends,

Its 10:30 and I've just finished a huge appraisal project for some developers in town hoping to get a fat check for the reports tomorrow. Nan is resting in her chair, between bouts of extreme pain. We are pretty much down to Dilautid every 2 to 3 hours now or the pain becomes unbearable.

We had to say good bye to Marilyn today and that was tough. She has been a big help and blessing to us and I only hope she knows how much we appreciate what she has done. I am also hopeful that her trip went well to Rhode Island today. Nan was so distraught as Marilyn had to leave. It has meant that Nan was never really alone for the past 6 weeks and that has been such a warm and fuzzy for Nan.

Marilyn, thank you for everything!

So far the new pain patch has been a failure, Nan has more pain now than before and the dose is 1/2 again as much as before. Something does not seem quite right.

I'm going to cut this short tonight, I'm so tired and we've been getting up about every 2 to 3 hours all night for pain meds the last few nights. Last evening I developed an intense pain of my own along the side of my hip and it was awful that I could not move or walk without heavy duty pain. I rode Nan's stair chair down to get the pain bottles and then Nan chose what I should take and finally I was able to fall asleep for a part of the night. All day today the pain is certainly there but not as intense and I can walk, hobble really around and care for Nan.

So we both could use your prayers this evening. I always print out what you have written in and let Nan read it. She was so thrilled when Sharon was discussing a future trip this way, I could see hope in her eyes, not something we see all the time anymore. We are also looking forward to Barb and Gerry coming our way this coming weekend for a couple days, wonderful! And we think Sylvia is coming on Tuesday, wonderful and Jason might be able to come on Wednesday, wonderful!

Today Nikki and Keanna took care of Grammy while I drove Marilyn to the airport. Nikki is preparing for a huge sale of children's things and clothes coming soon so she was tagging items and mom watched and slept. Thanks Nikki and Keanna for coming to help Grammy.

Good night my friends and to some of you good morning. Grab life, enjoy it, embrace it and love the family you have nearby, let them know now, not someday. Things rust but relationships are eternal.

Oh God grant Nan peace, freedom from pain, calmness of spirit, steadfast faith.

love

tim and nan

Fiero for sale, check out the photo!

A day of rest

Dear Friends and Family,
9:50, Nan and Marilyn are busy filling out forms the Social Security Agency sent us which are meant to confirm that she is disabled and her work history over the past 15 years. Marilyn is a wiz at filling out these forms and Nan has an amazing memory of what she did and when, how much she made, and lots of other details. This is good diversion as Nan has had some pretty nasty pain today, so far the new pain patch does not seem to be improving things at all. We have given Dilautid many times today and that does work for a couple hours at a time.
I made Belgium Waffles for breakfast and Marilyn pronounced them very good. This evening I went to town and got the Fiero washed, picked up a Papa Murphys pizza and free bread. Marilyn and I could not eat it all so there is some for tomorrow. Good stuff and very very cheap to purchase. Should have been doing this for a long time.
We've been able to keep the house open nearly the whole day today with cool breezes wafting through. We've enjoyed our time with Marilyn as this is our last full day with her charming presence. She flys out of Sac tomorrow afternoon about 1 to Midway in Chicago and then on to Providence and home. Thank you Dana and Tim for providing this precious pink pass that allows her to travel across the county. We can't wait until she can return later in the winter some time.
I have the Fiero nearly ready to put on the market and if any of you have ideas of where a good place to sell is or any other ideas I am open. It cleaned up really nice, has leather interior, only 77,000 miles on a 1988 year, power windows and AC which does not blow cold anymore, needs freon. Tonight after I shot some photos of it I covered it up to keep it clean. Steve has promised he will list it for us in Craigs List and EBay as well. I may also put it in the trader which has a small fee but runs for a month.
We got more money in the mail today which is already deposited in the bank and along with the money I have already deposited I think I can make the house payment tomorrow, yea! I am also able to sent a little amount to AMEX to show good faith to them. I have until the end of the month before IRS will lean all we own so there are still challenges ahead. I want to especially thank my sister Sibyl for her lovely card and the cash it held. I had Nan put it into her purse so if for any reason she might need something she is not totally broke. Thank you Sibyl for your kindness and I sure look forward to seeing you in the future. You take care of yourself and enjoy your kids and grandchildren.
Others have come to our rescue in the past couple days in amazing ways and we thank you for your help. I'm feeling a lot more hope than just one week ago when I had such a terrible sunday, ill, depressed and just cornered on every hand I could see no way out. Art your words of hope and help, Jerry your reassurances of a better time coming, Sharon, your constant faith and positive words, Pam, your undying devotion to Nan, Sylvia, your words of hope, Irene your cards and positive thoughts even while you are facing your own time of darkness and many others. Thank you for investing your time, prayers, words, in our lives.
What we are experiencing is something you can't prepare for, or anticipate, or even fear. It just hits you and keeps hitting you and you cry out, why Nan? Why such an attack on such a precious person? No answers are possible now. But we do treasure each and every day as we live them. This morning after being up many times with pain and pain meds during the night we slept from about 4 to after 8, nearly 9. Then we sort of woke up and talked as I did things nan needed to feel better. It was a precious time, one I think we both value and treasure. Now its time to go up. This evening I have a nasty Charlie Horse in my hip, pain is fairly intense, could be a response to driving the Fiero with its very low seat and stiff clutch. It really hurts to move right now. Minor issue though.
In the morning Marilyn will give me a tour through the files she has so carefully created so I can maintain the order she has created. What a gift her organizational skills are to us at this time when nan can no longer file and sit at her desk and work.
Tonight I thank God and each of you for being there, for living your lives the best you can, for caring about others including us. You remind us of the real reasons for living on days when we are having tough times.

love

tim and nan and marilyn

Friday night, another week has passed

Dear Ones,
Its 9:50, Marilyn is back from having a wonderful dinner courtesy of Mary, Nikki and Keanna have gone home after feeding me some very delicious food and visiting with Grammy. We are all wearing our hand stickers thanks to Keanna.
Our visit to the doctor resulted in Nan getting very tired and having a lot of pain from the trip over and back. Dr. Melynk also decided to have us try the pain patches again to see if the pain control would be more effective no having to digest in the GI tract as the oxycontin pills have to do. He has also allowed us to give 2 mg of Dilautid at a time instead of 1 mg. He is trying to get ahead of the pain which has controlled Nan for the past two weeks. Today she has had several bouts of nausea and sometimes stomach pump yields many CCs of fluid and other times it hardly works, like now and when nan takes her pills she has to turn the pump off for at least an hour to allow the pills to digest and work into her system. 3 hours is more ideal but she can always wait 3 hours before we pump again.
I rose early this morning to work on some local appraisals and then showered at 9:30. Marilyn helped Nan dress and then we loaded up the van for the trip to Concord, about an hour away. She felt every bump on the trip. We were taken right in at the doctors office and received good quick attention. Then back to the car for the return trip. I had rigged up a power supply so the pump could be used during the trip but it pumped out nothing at all. Later we discovered the valve which turns off suction when the canister becomes full was stuck closed.
After we brought Nan home I drove back to Brentwood to turn in the prescription for the patches, then paid PG&E to keep the lights on, then drove to Stockton and had a terrible time finding the subject property. It was not on any of the three maps I had with me and the GPS could not locate it. After about 30 minutes of searching I just ask the Lord to help me, checked the map again, sort of decided to try a new direction and there it was. Then as I was leaving Stockton to come back to Brentwood to pick up meds I got a call, it was a company that orders inspections, they had one in Stockton for a small commercial building, just needed exterior photos, measurements and comments about its setting. Pays $90 so I checked my watch, had enough time, did the work and then drove to Brentwood, got the meds, drove home to find 2 Honda Pilots in the driveway, Mary was here and so was Nikki and Keanna, what a happy time we had and then Mary and Marilyn went to dinner and I played with Keanna, talked to Nikki and we let mom sleep. At 8 they went home and Mary and Marilyn were back raving about the food and dicing the service. Mary leaves tomorrow evening for Hawaii with some lady friends and sometime on Sunday Marilyn will fly home. So far we don't know when and we don't really have a plan to get her to the airport yet but I know something will work out on that front.
This has been a week of hard work on my part, long 12 hour days, several thousand miles driven in the little bug while Marilyn has faithfully watched over Nan those same long hours helping her with meds, ice water, pillows, chats and just being a very good friend. We have appreciated the visits and help from everyone of you and always hated to see the time come to an end, so we feel right now, we will miss this dear lady who has given us so much over the past 7 weeks. Nan's life has been enriched by her company and hope.
I am so thankful for the ways God has used to slip money into our hands this week. Clients, potential orders prepaid, friends sharing, cash in cards. This week ends better than last week for sure.
I just spoke to Art and he and Connie are waiting for guests to arrive in Gilroy. They have been enjoying their addition, a Rialto mini motorhome, it is a very clever motorhome with seating for 8, sleeping for 4, bathroom with shower, kitchen with frig and microwave, generator, 15 or 16 mpg if driven at speed limits and a low profile that does not fight with the wind like taller ones do. They are enjoying outfitting it for their travels to come. Sounds really clean and perfect for their needs.
We hear that Bernice is enjoying her new pace maker and is doing well. We are thrilled that things have worked out well for her and Lloyd.
I think it is time to wrap this up and head to bed. I'm sleepy and feel like I might be trying to come back down with some illness.
Please pray for God's guidance and healing for Nan. As she lives week after week in pain her quality of life has really suffered. We hope and pray for better days to come. We understand that Roxanna will soon be in the area and we hope to get to see her soon. If anyone is lost and needs a place to crash we will be here tomorrow and would love to see you. Call first to make sure we are awake, you know day of rest and all!

love

tim and nan and for now Marilyn!

Thursday evening, a very challenging day for Nan

Dear Ones,
10:30. Nan rose early today, came downstairs and was in the chair until 8:30 tonight when she signaled she was ready to head upstairs. She and Marilyn are watching something exciting and resting after a long day of pain, napping, Dilautid and more pain.
I left at 8:45 this morning, drove to Dolly's very attractive home in Napa, surrounded by greenbelt and roses, we then headed to Santa Rosa using back roads she knows well. They headed through fields of vineyards, stunning beautiful wineries and GPS guided arrived at our little house. We quickly inspected the home, met and talked with the owners and then shot the comps in the near streets. Then we headed back to 12 and Napa where Dolly took me to lunch at Applebees and introduced me to a thin crust vege pizza that was just wonderful. It was just the right amount of food and every bite was perfect, creamed spinach, muchrooms, diced tomatos, feta cheese, perfect and a drink of fruit juices. Then it was time to head home. Getting to spend the day with this very special and unique person who taught Nan and me the appraising business years ago was a high privilege and I think she also enjoyed trying out her long honed skills of appraising. It was with a heavy heart that I drove back to Brentwood, I felt I had once again gotten to spend time with a legend. This is the youngest senior citizen every made, she loves cars, driving fast, good music, friends and her Lord.

Arriving home I found Nan to be about the same but with short bouts of intense pain. She had slept a good deal of the day Marilyn reported but was awake and curious about my day. I took time to put a new vent cover on the motorhome over the bathroom that has been broken for weeks. It only took a few minutes and it was done. This week I once again checked what I owe on the motorhome versus what I could get out of it and it might cost me up to $20,000 just to sell it, new motorhomes lose value like a rock trying to float in the sea. Seemed like a good idea in 2003 when we purchased it. It does function very well in carrying Nan to Jason and Jo's to see them and Timothy and for that we are thankful.

More orders have come in while I was out today and I'm buried in work right now, some has been done intentionally since after Marilyn leaves I will not be as free to go inspect and leave Nan alone. So I did lots of field work and then I can work here at home with Nan in the next room so the work load is by design this week.

We go to see Dr. Melynk tomorrow in Concord at 11 am. So we need to start getting ready about 9:30 so there will be little work time in the morning. We will be back home by noon and Nan will be ready to rest up. I'll go see a property in the afternoon and then Mary is taking Marilyn to dinner tomorrow evening. We think that is so nice of her to do that, Mary is one of the special people who always think of others and she is soooooo good to Nan and me too.

This evening I want to thank some generous people who have provided help for our immediate needs. It is much easier to be on the giving end than the receiving end but we are aware that God does His work in amazing ways. Once again today the mail was dry of money but did bless us with a 48 hour notice for PG&E so I think they move to the top of the priority list.

I am looking forward to Sabbath but not to Sunday since Marilyn will be leaving us. I could never have guessed how much help she would bring to Nan. She has a tender heart, a willing hand and never a cross word. I wish she could just live her always, she fits in perfectly and adds so much living to the house, her humor is just great, her attitude is perfect, no one ever will walk on Marilyn and she is the perfect balance of a friend. We are deeply thankful to her and her family for sharing her for such a long and meaningful time and we will never forget the gift of her time and kindness.

So now its goodnight friends and family, thank you for your thoughts, your prayers, your calls, your $help, for remembering us as we attempt to live our lives in as positive manner as we can through an unbelieveable experience. We are thankful that Nikki has returned from New Mexico and is home with her family tonight. We are thankful that Jason and Timothy came to visit and we are thankful for each day of life God is granting us.

love

tim and nan and marilyn

Another day passes

Dear Family and Friends,

9:10 this evening. I've been sitting with Nan watching a Murder She Wrote episode set in Moscow. It was fun to watch. Nan has experienced some pretty stiff pains today including now as she is taking her pills. We use Dilautid often, have a good supply and are giving reasonable doses IV. She and Marilyn have had a decent day with nan having some pretty good naps which help her relax and feel better. Dear sweet Marilyn has been sorting all our papers for the past 2 years plus some of this year and has them compiled by month, topic and in files. She is amazing and said she learned this when she used to work in the governors office, Jerry Brown. She has done an incredible job and helped a lot with getting us ready for our tax prep. There is no way I can ever really thank her or repay her for what she has done. She shrugs it off like its nothing but its just amazing to me. I handed her boxes, files and stacks and she hands me back perfect organization!!

We got two checks in the mail today and then Judy, the most wonderful loan person in the world brought a check and put it in the mail box this evening. So slowly I am starting to pay on the various bills. Complicating things a bit is the fact that in September I have to pay for one of the MLS boards we all use for the entire year. It comes to nearly a $1,000, last month it was E&O insurance for nearly a $1,000. Those extras really hit hard. Checks in the mail sure makes it easier to walk back into the house and face the girls with some optimism and hope. I picked up the IRS letters at the post office today and they are demanding immediate payment of $4,500 for the 2005 year. We had paid in advance for the entire year but someone in the IRS in their superior wisdom took one of the payments and applied it to a different year so we came up short. We are wanting to file an updated return for 2005 but are missing some of the data we need. We are getting close and with Marilyn's help we are much much nearer to being able to file now.

Tomorrow morning I am driving to Santa Rosa to do an appraisal on a little house. The little house will take almost no time to measure and photograph and the comps are all located nearby so the hard part is the 2 hour drive each way to make it happen. I am planning to see Dolly Vogel who lives in Napa on one of the directions, she is a constant source of faith and strength to us both. How we love to see or hear from Dolly, she is one of the special people who know what they are talking about and trust God's leading day by day.

Today I inspected a 5 lot subdivision and will prepare an appraisal on each parcel for my clients. Then I stopped to do something I have not done on my own for a very long time, since I had had no breakfast I went to Mimi's Cafe and had a light egg whites only omelet with tomato slices, wheat toast and orange juice. It was one of the best meals I have ever had. I felt indulgent but did it anyway. It cost $11 bucks and carried me the rest of the day up to my burrito from taco bel in Tracy this evening. I've made two trips to Tracy today for assignments and was really glad to be home at about 8 pm. Nan enjoys ice water all the time right now so I stopped and got a 21 lb bag of ice, we will not run out soon. Its huge.

This evening I inspected a property and learned about a sad happening, the family had lost a 3 month old child to sids, and it happened at day care. Their faith in God eventually brought them through but they are still suffering and coping 2 years later. They look forward to their move to Houston where the home will be new to them and they will be surrounded by family. Life is not a bowl of cherries, more like a few cherries, a few pits and a lot of rocks too. I know Nan and I have learned a great deal about life over the past few years as we have battled GIST together, we are now in our 11th year and each year has grown more challenging until now when every day is precious and valuable but so very challenging to Nan. Sharon called this evening and Nan got to talk to her, she loves to talk to Sharon. Often Nan does not hear the phone as she is sleeping due to pain meds or Adavan.

I am including a few photos of our precious little joy Timothy from the visit Jason and Timothy made on Monday. It was wonderful to see them both and to witness God's blessings through this little person.

So good night my friends, I've got some deadlines financially that at this point I doubt I can meet but we will see. We are thankful for 3 checks today.

love to each and every one of you,

tim and nan and marilyn (bless her)

Post 571 - good test results - lot of stomach pain

Dear Ones,
Nan is resting in our bed upstairs and I can hear the TV on low as she first falls asleep until the sleep device turns it off. Tonight we are hydrating her with extra fluids, Marilyn says that we have been taking over 2500 ccs out with the pump and since the TPN is only putting in about 2400 cc at the most we might be getting her a bit dry. She drinks ice water all the time and that helps with total fluids too. She asked to come down this morning, around 7:45 which I did and then I hit the road. Marilyn moved all the pillows, tubes, pump, etc down. I drove to Madera arriving at 10:30, say a little old house, then up to Coursegold to a subdivision where all the homes have about an acre called Yosemite Lakes or something like that, then later on up to a second ranch nearer to Yosemite. It took a full hour to find one comparable, GPS got so confused, I drove over dirt roads with ruts higher than the car, jagged rocks sticking out but I did so slowly and car made it home fine. Finally found that last comparable by coming at it from a totally different access road and then the GPS found it fine. I had 550 miles on the tank when I finally found cheap diesel, $2.83 a gallon. Home at 7:45 to find Nan had suffered a lot with stomach pains today, more so there than anywhere else. Marilyn had given her iv dilautid when needed and Nan made it through the day but was suffering.
On the way home I spoke to Sharon who is staying as busy as usual, Nikki who is in New Mexico trying to stay awake for her classes, Steve who was busy as usual working and caring for precious Keanna, Art who was visiting a friend and several work calls during the day. The people who do these reverse mortages are the nicest people. Nearly everyone in Coursegold has moved there from Southern California and they love it up there in the foothills in their little ranchettes.
When I got home I timidly approached the mailbox hoping not to be disappointed. Yes there was one check from a reverse mortgage, great news, the drought has been broken. Of course I need about 10 more checks to begin to approach the bills but still one is way better than none!
I enjoyed reading the blog comments and I'll print them out for Nan to read in the morning. It was so good to hear from everybudy and know how things are going. Lucky Roger and Carol who have their daughter and grandson right now, that is good stuff and they don't get to see them as often as they would like. Great to know Barb and Gerry are headed home, potential visitors for the future, YES! We are searching for visitors who would like their own room and bath, unlimited visitation hours with the beautiful and famous Nan and quiet times to meditate by the lake. You can come anytime and stay as long as you like. Sign up now! We will provide meals as long as they involve peanut butter and tomatoes, Dana might have even left some tuna in the pantry!
I just found David and Joe's night crawlers in the little frig, right in there with the TPN storage. I decided that perhaps they needed to be freed so I dumped them into our front flower area where they can do some good.
Per Critical care home health pharmacist, nina, Nan's labs looked good, albuman is low but very hard to add to the body, the body actually needs to create its own so increasing the protein in the TPN really did not change it, what would be good if Nan could eat small meals and trace elements would help but she can't due to the ongoing blockage. Hemoglobin was 8.2 which is getting to the point where they may ask for a transfusion again, its about time. We see the oncologist on friday in Concord, that will be a big trip for Nan, its in the afternoon I think.
I am very busy this week with work for which I am thankful and I'm feeling much better thans the the care of Dr. Edwards and the good meds he gave me. Thank you Lord for feeling better.
I'm going to wrap up now. I have a few photos of little guys visit but I'll do them tomorrow, I'm tired and have another huge day tomorrow.

Please pray that Nan's colostomy will fill, that she might start to feel better and that how she feels would match the lab results, good!

love to all

tim and nan and marilyn

Timothy and Jason bring joy and peace...

Dear Family and Friends,
Timothy and Jason arrived mid day and were able to be with us until about 5:30. Timothy and Grammy had a bottle together, then he slept in his swing for hours with the cutest expressions on his face. He was still sleeping when I arrived home from my work. He is really precious and after Jason woke him up I got to hold him for a long time, turns out he likes to sleep on Papa's tummy and chest. Finally he woke and enjoyed waving his arms, rolling his eyes and kicking up a storm. He is a very strong and healthy little guy and Jason does a wonderful job of caring for him. I am so proud of him as he does everything so easily and just loves doing it. He has taken some time off so he can be with Timothy even more and they get along great.
If you go to this web site you can see some really cute photos and be a witness to his dedication. http://picasaweb.google.com/jovinia/TimothyDedication
I just tried to cut and paste, hope it works for you. Its worth the time for sure.
Nan has had a day that was enhanced by Timothy and Jason, otherwise she has been plagued by pain, some severe, nausea and general fatigue. We rose early and came down about 8:30 this morning. Neither of us slept very well last night, I did not finally fall asleep until past 3 am this morning, I was so depressed and overcome with concerns regarding our lives right now. Nan needed help at 7 and I did not want to wake or move, after I helped her I went back to bed and at 8:15 she let me know it was time to get up and start work. I helped her downstairs and then left for Brentwood where I saw one of the nicest homes I have ever seen, perfect granite pool with huge waterfalls, views, perfect condition, a dream home really and they stand to lose a lot of money due to the market conditions. Then on to San Ramon to see a second home that was more ordinary but still very nice but due to its location worth $300,000 more than the first home. Then quick lunch with a vegiburger at Burger King and home to see that wonderful little guy.
Nikki is in New Mexico tonight at meetings for her work and will not come back until Friday afternoon. It was a sad good bye as she took Keanna to school this morning and then drove to the airport. Goodbyes are always tough, Heaven will be wonderful, no saying goodbye or good night there.
Our mail was dry again today, no money but Steve did pick up a check from an appraisal appointment. I've laid out all the bills I can think of and put them on a grease board, then check them off as I can pay them, I'm trusting that funds will come in and I'm doing what Ben Franklin said to do, "The Lord helps those that help themselves" Tomorrow will be three appraisals, two today and several more to see this week. Steve was able to see 4 today so he had a big day as well.
Our nurse, Terry is just back from a week long nursing conference and she is here not at 10:15 taking Nan's blood for tests. What a dedicated person she is.

Tonight I pray that God will touch Nan with His healing, she has suffered long enough, she needs His help in a special way. I also pray that God will lead in our lives, protect Nikki as she is away, guard STeve and Keanna as they have to work hard to hold the house together while mommy is gone. I also pray for Bernice and for the families of two of Bob and Carrol's friends that have lost loved ones in the last few days.

love to all

tim and nan and marilyn and terry

Nan rests but wakes up feeling better this evening

Dear Ones,
As I listen around the door I can hear Nan and Marilyn having a conversation and they have been doing so for awhile. Nan has finally woken up and sounds like she might be feeling better. Today she has tried a small glass of ice tea and some gatoraide too. She has been in her recliner since about 10 when she finally woke up. I think the rest is good as the fever tires her out and she is fairly low energy right now anyway. She is walking pretty good and sounds pretty contented right now. Nikki leaves tomorrow for New Mexico for a week of work and will drop Keanna off at school in the morning and then drive to the plane. She has been working very hard today trying to sort things and get stuff cleaned up, lots of work for her and she feels she has made little progress.
Nikki gave Marilyn a Mr. Potato Head, something that was very popular as a clever toy years ago, it was in its box and has costumes, so cute, Marilyn loved it and Nikki gave mom some new blouses, the kind she likes and Nan will try them on tomorrow, she was touched by Nikki's every present kindness.
Steve's brother David has moved to Oakland and is working with Steve has they try to get some new businesses started up, landscaping, industrial maintenance plus appraising when there is work to do. Steve is such a hard worker you just know he will succeed.
I have spent the day preparing for the week ahead. I am trying to jam as much work in this week while Marilyn is still here. I really have no idea how I will manage next week as I don't really feel mom can be left alone more than very short periods in case she needs something that is beyond her reach or has a health setback come on suddenly. Frankly I feel my world sort of closing in my me. While I am feeling better I am not well yet but there is no time to rest or recouperate. This week I will do appraisals in Santa Rosa, Stockton, Madera, Coursegold, San Ramon and Brentwood. I am in hopes Steve can handle Oakland and San francisco if he has the time. He will be much busier since Nikki will be in New Mexico.
I continue to face financial disaster and that is not overstating it at all. In the last 8 days money has come only 1 day. I'm trying to remain faithful and trusting but I've got to admit that at this point I see no way out which means things will begin to happen to us beyond our control. The years of plane tickets, hotel rooms, rental cars, medical bills and days, weeks away from work are catching up at last. All the credit cards are full now, AMEX is owed a huge amount. While the work has been pretty good lately and we are generating considerable income with the appraisals going out we need income from prior work to come to us. Today we tried to repair our accounting system which creates statements we send to our clients but no matter how hard Jim worked it would not repair. Our problem right now is the statements include appraisals that have already been paid for in the past and yet show as due. Clients don't really care for that much when they know they have paid and we are billing them again. Yet another challenge to somehow get fixed, and tomorrow I pick up a letter from the IRS demanding money.

Please pray for us tonight, most importantly Nan needs God continued creative and healing power so badly, oh that the blockage would break, the fevers subside, the tumors shrink.

I feel like the perfect financial storm is approaching and can only seek God's help through it.

Thank you for your prayers, your honest care and for the time you invest in writing to the blog or cards or calls to Nan. Our life is pretty tough, every day our struggles are with life and death issues and it seems things never let us, but like Job we have decided, tho He slay me yet will I trust Him.

love

tim and nan and gratefully still, Marilyn

A restful Sabbath

Dear Family and Friends,
Its 10:20 and Nan and Marilyn are already upstairs settled in. I came down for one last round and to blog. As I report this last 24 hours I am reminded of how much has taken place and how much has stayed the same. We had a good night with only one time of waking and caring for things at 3:30 this morning. I am sleeping some better with fewer lung tearing coughing episodes and less left leg pain. We finally woke and came down at 9:30 this morning. I think the rest was good for both of us but extreme pain in Nan lower back drove her out of bed. She has spent the day in her recliner with quite a bit of pain and required some iv dilautid from time to time. She continues to run a 100 degree temperature nearly all the time now. Her voice is weak but this evening as we prepared to go up she seemed to rally and was doing knee bends when she got out of the wheelchair to board the stair chair. We laughingly expected her to do cartwheels between the stair chair and her bed at the top. Late this afternoon Keanna called to say they were coming over to visit. We enjoyed Keanna playing games, doing dressups, drawing pictures, placing stickers on all our hands and then she was gone off to Chucky Cheese to see friends. It is always great to see the kids and it helped us through missing our trip to see Timothy's dedication. We have now heard that Jason and Timothy are coming to see us on Monday and Nan is thrilled with that news.
Marilyn and I enjoyed our cheap pizza from Pappa Murthys last night so much that I went back for more tonight. This time armed with a coupon we got bread too. Well this time we could only eat half of the pizza so we have some for tomorrow and beyound.

This morning I decided to make Belgium Waffles and they happened to turn out great. We 've had lots to drink today and just rested up. At one point this afternoon my temperature was 100.5 which was a surprise to me. I am feeling better. A brief trip to the mailbox today yielded a magazine, advertizements and NO money once again. I'm really getting parinoid about money. Not sure where to turn and I keep trying very hard to trust God to guide us in our financial challenges.

So we rest again with subtle changes in the placement of Nan's pains, some pills showed up in her colostomy bag, little else but some pills, now is that weird or not!

Please continue to pray that Nan's blockage can break, that her pain can subside, that the medicine will continue to control the tumors and that God will give us all peace in our hearts.

I thank God tonight for Marilyn who has a sweet and tender spirit, is so caring and kind and never seems to be put out with our strange ways. I thank God for precious children and grandchildren, for friends and extended family who call and who care, I thank God for you the faithful reader of this blog and for your prayers and help in our lives. We are a very blessed family.

love

tim and nan and marilyn

Friday evening - we are at home

Dear Friends and Family,
We were not able to go to Jason and Jo's today, Nan did not feel up to the trip. We weighted our options all day hoping she would feel better but that was not to be the case. I am disappointed because I love to see everything the little ones do and tomorrow is his dedication during the worship hour. However as Nan thought more and more about the trip she was reluctant to give it a try. She is once again running a low grade fever of about 100 most of the time and soon we may have to take another round of antibiotics for bugs that may be growing. Her hip pain has moved to her back and she is taking advantage of the IV Dilautid when she needs it. The stomach pump is working very well and keeps her free of nausea.

This has been a very tough day for me. I woke after a very restless night with some strong pains in my left leg, some fever and very sore chest and lungs. I have coughed much less today and managed to work my way through the day even though I did not feel like it at all. I had to go to the bank and deal with two accounts that were upside down using the money that came in the mail yesterday to right them. I have at least 15 places I could apply the money I received yesterday and I'm not sure where to start. Todays mail brought nothing but letters from the IRS seeking money and magazines and yet more bills. Medical bills have moved from hospital to collection agency now and they are less fun to deal with. Whoever suggested that you pay each one a little amount failed to inform me how much they hate that. They just want the money now. Today I concentrated on getting my cell phone back on, the office phone bills paid, the data supplier for appraisals paid.

Fortunately we are getting work again, I have plenty for the next week right now but its in Santa Rosa, Madera, San Francisco, Coursegold, seems nothing comes easy right now. I have tried to place my many concerns before the Lord today but in spite of that it has been a very hard day to endure.

I am looking forward to rest both tonight and tomorrow as it is my Sabbath and I believe God knows how much I need to rest and recoup. Marilyn has been extra good to Nan today and has rubbed her feet, her legs and give her a lot of encouragment. She is a very special person, one we treasure greatly.

Thank you our friends for your help on so many levels and especially thanks for your faithful prayers for Nan. Her life is hard right now and she has to endure a lot.

we send our love

tim and nan and marilyn

Thursday evening

Dear Family and Friends,
I'm just home from SF where I did an appraisal on a property just across from the Cow Palace. There is also a Taco Bell there so I had dinner before heading home.
I went to the doctor today and while he did not have time to tell me what is wrong with me he did give me some samples and a prescription. He brought me two pills and a cup of water. It was very kind of him to fit me into an incredible schedule. Then I drove to SF with minimal traffic, saw the property, shot the comps, had burrito then headed home. Traffic was bad through Highway 24 and the hot engine light came on in the bug, so I turned the heater on high, started the AC working which starts an extra fan in front of the radiator and after about 5 stressful minutes the light went out. Just one more interesting thing to round out the day. Got to talk to Nikki while in SF and my brother Jerry and Art on the way home which helped a great deal in making the miles melt away.

Nan has had an OK day, wound care nurse put on new nephrostomy dressing which have already started to come loose. I'll look into that in a minute. Nan rested part of the day but battled nausea most of the day. She and Marilyn were busy watching reruns and keeping Nan drinking water. The new pump continues to do a great job removing extra stuff from Nan's stomach. Still no desire to eat food or drink anything but water.

When the wound care nurse was here this morning she found Nan to have a 100.9 temperature, that caused some alarm so we will need to keep checking it. I hope and pray that Nan will not get this bronchial thing I have, not sure what it is but my lungs hurt badly when I cough and the cough is deep and gut wrenching. I feel lousy most of the time and its hard to be up and optomistic when days go by with no income, you feel really rough, Nan feels pretty rough and bill collectors call daily looking for money. Well today two checks did come in the mail finally and they will help us to be able to start paying bills again. September is a challenging month as some of the MLS boards come due and they are not cheap at all. Sometimes I just wonder what lies ahead for us.

I will tell you this, money from the recovery fund paid the monthly premium for the health insurance on time. We would have been in a very bad place if that bill did not get paid, it is $1,150 and worth every dime as they have been quite wonderful about paying the bulk of the huge medical bills. Your help is much appreciated. Every time I think we are finally to a place where we don't need any additional help then it comes through and then it is needed at just the right moment.

We are facing a tough decision tonight and tomorrow morning regarding going to see Timothy dedicated on Sabbath. Nan and I really want to see this happen but we don't want to risk making him sick so a lot will depend on how I feel in the morning. If the antibiotic works like it usually does I will be much better. Nan can probably handle the trip but it will be a challenge for her. We love this little guy and are delighted that his parents are dedicating him to Jesus.

Please pray that God will guide us in all things, health wise, travel wise, money wise. We need His direction in our lives more than ever as the pressure builds at times.

love

tim and nan and marilyn
We are thankful for some new orders today, of course they are located 2 hours away in Madera but they are still orders, yea!

Another day of challenges...

Dear Family and Friends,
I am writing tonight after a long day. First off I want to say a special thank you for some incredible bread that Sylvia brought. We have stretched it as far as we can and now its gone but oh the pleasure of eating such a delicacy. Then there are the jars of fruit, the peanut butter, the tomatoes and the bread that Joyce and Glen brought. Yes and some outstanding jams. Thank you so much.
Nan had a good night and we fought the pump and lost last night, so we had to pump manually this morning and then started over again. A very kind person from Apria called and offered to send someone to help us. We tried more times and suddenly it works. It has been working all afternoon and evening pulling out fluids in a slow careful manner. Nan has had a day with less pain and Marilyn has filled a tub of water and soaked her feet. nan says it feels great. Nan has had a remarkable inprovement in her spirits over the last couple days. Now if the colostomy would just break lose.
I've been battling with ear pain, head pain, extreme lung pain, sore when I cough and sore from so much deep coughing, sore throat. I have a call into the doctor but so far have not heard back. I think I need some help. My other battle is with finances. We have hit one of those terrible dry patches where we go 6 days without a dime in the mailbox. Not one cent. Work continues to slowly come in but payments have stopped and I started the day with a minus $2.00 in the business account. I went to the bank and moved everything I could from the recovery fund knowing that tomorrow the health insurance auto payment will hit, it is over $1,100 and it is not quite covered so lets hope money appears from somewhere. I'm asking God to guide us through this. We closed a Chase Account today and will work with them for a payment plan and lower interest rate than they were charging, an amazingly awful 32%. I have not been this broke in the past 25 years. It is a sobering experience and makes one appreciate even a few dollars.
Marilyn was kind enough today to accept the challenge of sorting an entire box of papers that cover the past year and 1/2, since Boston. We needed that done to prepare for the 2006 tax year. She just stayed with it and did a wonderful job, tonight its all organized. I tell you this girl is good at everything she does. A small thing happened that is disappointing. When Dana arrived she asked on the way home to stop at a Target store and purchased a small fan. John put it together and while he was here he used it every night. Then it migrated down to the family room to help keep Nan comfortable. We observed that it was not being very constant last night and this morning it won't work at all, can you believe that? China strikes again!!
Please continue to pray for Nan both with thanks and appeals, thanks for things being better and appeals for blockage and pain in her legs.
Please continue to pray for Irene who is facing some decisions soon regarding a new GIST tumor and for Bernice White who needs her heart to beat a little faster. Please pray for me too that I can get well. It is our hope that we can go see Timothy being dedicated this Sabbath but I've got to be healthy or I can't be around him, putting him at risk. Extra reason to try to get well.

So tonight my friends, thank you for your calls, prayers and good thoughts expressed to the blog. We love you all and wish there were things we could do for you.

love

tim and nan and marilyn